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Chapter 4 – Touko-senpai’s Birthday

The final subject of this semester’s exams has just concluded. Along with many other students, I exited the classroom.

“Wow, it’s finally over.”

“Two weeks of exams felt quite long, huh.”

“For students, this is a hellish period twice a year.”

“Starting tomorrow, summer vacation finally begins.”

Such voices were heard all around.

Yet, I couldn’t quite join in their cheerful mood.

(Right, I should be feeling happy now.)

I knew the reason.

It was because of the ‘first love private tutor Touko-senpai’ story I heard from Kamokura.

That story made me anxious, and during the exam period, I couldn’t focus on my studies properly.

“Sigh.”

I let out a sigh unconsciously, feeling someone’s arm draped over my shoulder from behind.

“What’s the matter, Isshiki? Even though exams are over, you seem pretty down.”

The one speaking was Yamauchi.

“No, it’s nothing like that.”

Even though I replied that way, I knew I wasn’t feeling very spirited.

“Did you do badly on your exams? Don’t think too much about it, there’s always a re-exam.”

That’s not what I was thinking about.

“More importantly, right now, we’re planning to go out for drinks with some classmates. You’re coming too, right, Isshiki?”

“No, I can’t. I have plans later.”

“Man, you’re terrible at socializing. With that attitude, you won’t survive in society, you know.”

“Sorry. But I’ve already made a promise for today.”

“Is it because of a girl?”

Unexpectedly, Ishida chimed in like that.

“Please excuse me for today. I have a prior engagement.”

“What, Ishida knows about Isshiki’s plans?”

“Maybe.”

She whispered that in my ear, saying.

“Today is the day, right? The birthday.”

“Oh, right.”

“Don’t take it lightly. This is a critical moment. Do your best.”

“Yeah… you’re right.”

“I’ll hold them off here. Go before Nishihama shows up.”

“Thank you.”

Grateful for Ishida’s thoughtfulness, I left the place.

Yamauchi might still have been talking about something, but this time, I completely ignored him.

Ishida was right.

Now wasn’t the time to dwell on Touko-senpai’s past.

Today, I had to clearly convey my feelings to her.

The meeting place with Touko-senpai was at the north gate of the university, facing the main road.

To the right of the gate, there was a small grove of trees.

She was standing under the shade of those trees.

(Touko-senpai.)

I was about to greet her, but… I stopped.

Touko-senpai was on the phone, holding her smartphone in one hand.

“Nice to meet you.”

Touko-senpai’s cheerful voice and bright face were visible.

Seeing that, I suddenly hid behind a building.

I listened without realizing it.

“Thank you. Remembering my birthday, huh. I’m happy.”

Who was she calling? They seemed quite close.

“It’s no trouble at all… no, it’s okay. Thank you. …Ah, yes, that brings back memories. …Eh, a boyfriend? I don’t have one at the moment. …Ahaha, not really… I feel flattered.”

Touko-senpai’s speech wasn’t like her usual self.

Who was she calling… could it be…

“Yes, please come. My parents also said they want to meet Sanjou-san.”

…Sanjou!…

As if hearing the pounding of my own heart.

My bad feeling was proven right…

Touko-senpai’s conversation partner was Sanjou, her former private tutor who graduated from the University of Tokyo’s Medical Department.

And this was a level of closeness in Touko-senpai’s tone I had never heard before.

The distance between Sanjou and Touko-senpai seemed much closer than between her and me.

(It might be natural for them to be close after four years of tutoring.)

Even though I thought so, my heart still felt heavy.

The bad feeling I had suspected yesterday, now seemed like it would become reality.

“Ah, Isshiki-kun.”

Touko-senpai, who suddenly appeared from the shadow of the building, called out to me first.

“If you’ve arrived, you should’ve let me know.”

Touko-senpai spoke as if nothing was amiss.

“Oh, I just got here.”

Touko-senpai leaned in close to my face.

“What’s wrong? You seem a bit out of spirits.”

“It’s nothing.”

While saying that, I averted my gaze from Touko-senpai.

Somehow, now, I couldn’t look at her face.

Not because I couldn’t, but because I didn’t want to, surely it was like that.

“If you’re feeling unwell, we can do this some other time.”

“I’m fine. I’ve also made a reservation… Let’s go.”

After saying that, Touko-senpai and I started walking.

(Touko-senpai’s precious birthday. Don’t think about unnecessary things, Yuu Isshiki!)

I reminded myself and tried to dispel the unpleasant shadows.

We entered a French restaurant with a night view near Tokyo Station.

The restaurant was in the same hotel.

“Oh, this is a hotel… as I thought.”

Touko-senpai said with a hint of apprehension.

“What do you mean by ‘as I thought’?”

“Eh, that, um… a restaurant that looks expensive. Is this too much?”

“Don’t worry. It’s your birthday, so it’s fine.”

After that, both Touko-senpai and I fell silent.

The day had been like that.

On the train, I tried to be as cheerful as possible, just to start a conversation.

It seemed like she was afraid of the silence…

But the more I talked, the heavier Touko-senpai’s tongue seemed to become.

Sometimes, she looked at me with a worried glance.

It seemed like she was confused by my presence.

(Maybe, she’s recalling that call earlier?)

Such thoughts crossed my mind.

Every time that happened, I kept reminding myself.

(Don’t think about it. It’s not like there’s something between Touko-senpai and her private tutor. What’s important now is Touko-senpai right in front of me.)

I deliberately looked at Touko-senpai.

Her clear eyes yet filled with kindness, her high yet compact nose, and her small yet beautiful lips, all framed by neat jawlines.

She was beautiful with a bright personality.

But right now, Touko-senpai’s biggest appeal to me wasn’t her appearance.

Despite being a smart and beautiful woman, she was actually tender and considerate…

Her core strength resonated with my highly sensitive heart…

Sometimes strict, sometimes gentle, she was someone who guided me.

And… in my most hurtful moments, she was always there for me.

(To me, she’s someone I don’t want to let go of more than anyone else…)

I began to feel that way again.

Touko-senpai, for some time now, her attitude towards me was a bit strange.

It seemed somewhat awkward or uneasy, as if she was hesitant or conflicted about something…

(Could it be that after parting with Kamokura, she occasionally contacted her former private tutor, Sanjou, and maybe Sanjou was also trying to approach Touko-senpai…)

Picturing such a situation, even the phone call earlier made sense.

So, was Touko-senpai feeling uneasy meeting me?

(If so, maybe Touko-senpai thinks, “This might be the last time we meet,” after parting with Sanjou.)

I felt the mood in front of me darken.

The appetizer arrived. Shrimp and smoked salmon arranged on top of avocado.

“It’s delicious.”

“Really good.”

Although that was said, at that moment, I didn’t even know its taste.

“Tomorrow after this, we’re going to Okinawa, right?”

Touko-senpai started a new topic of conversation.

“Of course.”

“It’s going to be fun. What place do you want to visit the most?”

“Maybe Shuri Castle or other famous places.”

Once again, the conversation stalled.

The chat didn’t flow smoothly.

Of course, she might feel the same.

Touko-senpai looked at me with concern again.

Anyway, I needed to say something.

“This hotel has many fancy restaurants like Italian, Chinese, Japanese, and also a cafe with famous cakes.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“If we stay here, we can enjoy various cuisines.”

“Eh, stay…?”

Touko-senpai seemed surprised. Her hand holding the fork stopped.

“Since this is a five-star hotel, it would surely be satisfying.”

“B-really…”

Touko-senpai lowered her face as if hiding something.

Somehow, it seemed her face turned a bit red.

After that, fish and meat dishes were served, but we ate in silence.

The conversation didn’t continue.

It was the first time there was such an awkward atmosphere.

And I knew the reason.

I… was still thinking about Touko-senpai’s first private tutor.

And perhaps Touko-senpai still had feelings for her former lover.

She even just called Sanjou.

Maybe she said something like, “I want to meet,” rather than the other way around.

Touko-senpai’s odd behavior today might be because of that.

After finishing the meat dish, when the cheese arrived, I decided.

(Let’s change the mood. Basically, now is the time to give a gift. It’s her birthday, so first, I should give her the present.)

I bought the gift three days ago at a department store.

The brand is popular among female students.

I was confused about what gift to choose, but in the end, I chose a necklace.

A ring would be too much for someone who is not a girlfriend, so I thought a necklace would be more appropriate as an accessory gift.

It seemed like open hearts and teardrops were popular, but since Touko-senpai already had an open heart, I chose a teardrop shape.

(With this, maybe our conversation will become more lively.)

I harbored such hope.

“Ano…”

Our voices overlapped.

“A-what?”

“A-what?”

Our replies were almost simultaneous.

“Isshiki-kun, you go first.”

“No, it’s nothing big… Please, senpai, you go first.”

“Mmm…”

Touko-senpai seemed to ponder a bit.

“Then, I’ll speak.”

Touko-senpai looked at me with a worried expression.

“Today, Isshiki-kun, you seem a bit different than usual…”

“Eh…”

“It seems like there’s something you want to tell me…”

Touko-senpai said so, then clasped her hands between her thighs, lowering her face shyly.

(Touko-senpai realized it. That I overheard her conversation with her first private tutor.)

“Haa…”

I sighed unconsciously.

“If there’s something you want to say… Please say it clearly.”

Touko-senpai, with slumped shoulders, looked at me like a pleading puppy.

(But… Touko-senpai isn’t at fault. It’s just me being overly suspicious.)

However, unconsciously, my doubt towards her might have shown in my attitude.

And she noticed it.

So, maybe it’s better if I say it clearly.

“The person Touko-senpai was talking on the phone earlier was your former private tutor, right?”

“Eh?”

Touko-senpai looked confused.

“That person, Sanjou-san, right?”

“Eh, yes, but…”

“Touko-senpai, do you still like him?”

“Hah?”

Touko-senpai looked as if she didn’t understand what I was saying.

Was she surprised because I knew about her private tutor?

“…Who told you such a story?”

After a moment of silence, Touko-senpai spoke with a voice almost hidden.

Her face, which was slightly pink before, now turned even redder.

“Kamokura-senpai… said that a person named Sanjou, who graduated from the Faculty of Medicine at the University of Tokyo, has been Touko-senpai’s private tutor since junior high third year. He was Touko-senpai’s first love, and Touko-senpai liked him for five years until the first year of university.”

I answered so and then looked at Touko-senpai.

She seemed to be holding back something. The edges of her eyes were red.

And those eyes looked at me with a sharp light.

“What you wanted to say all day, that’s it, right?”

“I didn’t mean that, but I was curious.”

“I can’t believe it…”

Touko-senpai muttered with a trembling voice, then stood up clutching her bag.

“I’m going home.”

“Eh?”

This time, I was the one surprised.

Indeed, it feels uncomfortable to be asked about a past love, but if her feelings still lingered, it was natural for me to be curious.

I didn’t want to force her to say, “Start dating me,” considering Touko-senpai’s feelings.

But Touko-senpai, with a very upset expression, told me.

“Isshiki-kun, I’m disappointed in you. In nearly a year of us being together, what exactly have you been seeing?”

“Eh, but…”

“I thought you were someone who could understand others’ feelings, but it turns out you’re just a coward.”

Touko-senpai said so with a trembling voice, then left me and walked out of the restaurant without looking back.

I just stood there, watching her back as she left.