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Chapter 4: Lovers Who Came to Know

…At the end of July. In a coffee shop, sitting by the window on the second floor.

It was the first time Tasogare Shimaō saw his senior, with such an anxious expression.

He had never seen her this tense before. The senior he knew was always gentle, calm, and carried a composed smile. Even during last year’s sports festival, when she gave the athlete’s oath for the girls, she didn’t falter in her speech despite being in front of numerous parents, showing great composure. The boys, on the other hand, were much less controlled. Perhaps she was more nervous because he was there beside her.

“…Shimaō-kun,”

As the senior spoke, Tasogare noticed the tight grip she had on her interlocked hands on the table. Her long eyelashes trembled as she gazed directly at him, which was endearing. So was the way she bit her lip, as if to control herself.

To Tasogare, everything about her felt awkwardly charming.

On the other hand, he, who only knew of casual, lackadaisical relationships until middle school, felt a sense of pride in experiencing such intense love.

“I’m sorry for using you as an excuse, for suddenly calling you out like this.”

“No.”

Tasogare replied shortly. Just by seeing her expression, he understood why she had come, and he didn’t want to interrupt her while she was talking.

“I should probably start with small talk, saying how hot it is today, or how I’ve just finished the first half of the summer course. But I don’t have the confidence for such insincere conversation. So, I’ll be straightforward. There’s something I want to talk about.”

“Yes.”

More than sadness or heartache, Tasogare felt a sense of guilt. He might realize the extent of it later, but for now, that was his predominant feeling.

He felt guilty for making his senior, a goddess in his eyes, go through the pain of hurting someone else.

The senior continued with a clear, resolute voice, speaking words that could almost crush Tasogare’s spirit.

“I’ve fallen in love with someone else.”

Even though he had braced himself, expecting this, it felt like his heart was being carved out with a sharp knife. Tasogare gripped his knees tightly. He needed all his willpower not to look away from his senior.

The senior, struggling to contain her trembling, went on.

“No, that’s not quite right. I’m still not being completely honest. Shimaō-kun… Tasogare-kun, you’ve always been sincere. That’s why I want to be honest with you. It’s okay if you resent me. I’ve been lying.”

There’s no way I could resent you, thought Tasogare, restraining himself from interrupting her.

“It’s not been long… This recent development… Tasogare-kun, you’ve always been considerate towards me. You never did anything to burden me. So honestly, I knew that even without this conversation, we wouldn’t end up in a difficult situation. I thought I didn’t need to hurt you for no reason, even if it meant being cowardly.”

Tasogare didn’t interrupt her.

“But… recently, I saw the person I like getting along with another girl. There were reasons, and I had mentally prepared for it, thinking I could handle feeling a bit hurt. But the reality was different. It was incredibly painful.”

He didn’t interrupt her.

“I was jealous, envious, and my pride was hurt. I felt pathetic, and my heart was in turmoil. I felt everything inside me cracking, and to keep it from shattering, I had to give up on what I had decided beforehand. So, I thought about you, Tasogare-kun.”

He didn’t interrupt her.

“Tasogare-kun, you’re an attractive boy… and I don’t just mean your looks. Other boys are fine, but you’re just too special. If a boy as wonderful and sincere as you approached me, even if I didn’t say yes, the person I like would surely feel uncomfortable. The more amazing you are, the more worried I become, and it wouldn’t feel right. Shamefully, I would feel the same if I were in his place. That’s when I realized… Tasogare-kun, the person I like is—”

“It’s okay.”

For the first time, Tasogare interrupted his senior.

There was no need to hear it. It wasn’t because he had a rough idea who it was, nor because the senior’s voice was shaking with tension. Hearing the name would only shatter the already fragile Tasogare.

“The fact that you trust me enough to tell me this… just knowing you value me that much is enough to comfort me. Of course, it doesn’t mean I can immediately stop having feelings for you, but—”

“I’m being selfish, I’m sorry. Really sorry… That’s what I’ve come to ask of you. I know you like me, and I’m truly grateful for that. But precisely because of that, I want you—”

The senior hesitated. She had decided to speak her mind, calling him out for this reason, but still, it was a difficult thing to say.

Nevertheless, she overcame her reluctance with a strong resolve. Kanako Himi, a single girl burdened with guilt, barely managed to speak out.

“I want you to stop loving me… to forget those feelings. I can’t reciprocate them. It’s not that I dislike you, Tasogare-kun, in fact, I have a fondness for you. But it’s impossible. I’m sorry, so sorry, Tasogare—”

Her words stopped. Tasogare tried to smile to reassure his senior, wondering if that was why she paused. Then he noticed tears welling up in her eyes, and he panicked, rising from his seat.

“Senior, please don’t cry—”

…because his own voice was trembling.

Tasogare touched his cheek in realization. It wasn’t just because the senior had stopped speaking in surprise, nor just because she couldn’t hold back her tears…

It was because Tasogare himself had started to cry.

Realizing this, his shoulders shook, and his throat made a strange sound. It was too late when he noticed. The best he could do was to try not to show his senior any more of his crying face.

Tasogare looked down, covering his face, and began to cry. It was pathetic. It would only deepen his senior’s guilt. Each tear was proof that she had torn his heart, likely cutting hers too. She had just turned down someone she didn’t love. It wasn’t her responsibility, but he couldn’t help it.

Tears kept flowing under his hands. All the while, the senior didn’t look away from Tasogare. He felt her gaze on him. Probably, until the very end, she didn’t let her tears fall. It’s not permissible for the one who rejected and hurt the other to cry. She told herself, biting her lip, enduring.

Through his tears, Tasogare saw his senior’s composed figure, feeling an intense sadness and love for her.

In August, at the same café, at the same seat.

“Do you think you’re fortunate, Asahi-kun?”

Tasogare asked. Asahi Amaharashi had listened to his story, unable to hide his agitation. Tasogare realized that Asahi knew nothing about it. But still, Asahi didn’t hesitate in his response.

“I do. Ever since I moved here, there hasn’t been a day when I didn’t feel that way.”

Tasogare smiled slightly.

“Then, that’s good. …No matter who it is, it’s tough to be on equal footing with someone as perfect as my senior. Good luck with that.”

After that, Asahi left the café first.

Tasogare watched his back from the second-floor window and took out a handkerchief from his pocket.

It was the handkerchief the senior gave him at this seat at the end of July, after he had cried for a while and finally raised his face. Tasogare apologized for crying and being unsightly, then wiped his tear-stained eyes with it.

“I’ll wash it and return it,” he said, but the senior shook her head.

—I couldn’t reciprocate Tasogare-kun’s feelings in any way. The least I can do is give him this handkerchief.

Tasogare wiped his wet eyes again with that handkerchief.

After telling Asahi about crying over being rejected by his senior, he had surprised him.

Asahi had a shocked expression. Though Tasogare tried not to cry in front of Asahi, perhaps his eyes showed something similar. In the middle of it, Asahi bit his back teeth, his eyes showing a decisive look.

The content of Tasogare’s last words was half genuine, and half-doubtful: can you really try that hard? But seeing how Asahi could show such a strong expression against the goddess-like senior, maybe there’s no need to worry. Strangely, he didn’t feel regretful.

To say he didn’t feel a sense of defeat would be a lie.

Tasogare stood up from his seat once, went downstairs to order another coffee, and returned to his seat on the second floor. He opened one of the books he borrowed from Asahi… After about five minutes, he realized. He could read the book properly. So, he must be okay. Even if it’s tough for a while.

◆◆◆◇◇◇

Asahi Amaharashi kept pondering.

Outside the house, the cries of the cicadas and the Tuk-Tuk Bushi were so loud they could not be ignored. Yet, he had grown so accustomed to it that it no longer felt unpleasant. Since elementary school, summer vacations always seemed to end in the blink of an eye. The thought of soon not hearing the cicadas’ songs brought a sense of melancholy. That morning, while working on his summer assignments, Asahi Amaharashi suddenly stopped writing.

Why does summer vacation always seem to end so quickly every year?

The answer was simple: because it’s fun.

Asahi Amaharashi sat in his chair and stretched mightily. Deciding to take a break, he went downstairs to make coffee. He picked up his smartphone, which was charging, and while drinking his coffee, he started looking through photos. Photos from a trip. He couldn’t help but look back at them again and again. There were selfies he had secretly taken with his senior.

…And also pictures of his senior alone.

Photos of his senior in a swimsuit, by the seaside, and across the room terrace…

Asahi Amaharashi glanced briefly out the window. Only the lace curtains were drawn across the closed window. There was no sign of his senior out there. He wondered what his senior might be thinking about right now.

Asahi Amaharashi kept pondering.

On his way back from the local shopping mall, Asahi Amaharashi happened to see his senior’s family getting into their private car—a large SUV. It was the first day of the usual Obon holiday break at noon. A few days ago, Asahi had heard about it from his senior.

They were going to visit the maternal grandparents. Although it was only for two nights because of the latter half of the summer course starting right after Obon, he was looking forward to it as he adored his grandparents.

His senior had explained this to him.

“…Before, I said that my only joy during the summer vacation was to crush Asahi Amaharashi-kun, but that was just a play on words. Every year, I look forward to this visit.”

…To crush.

As it would be strange to stop in his tracks, Asahi Amaharashi walked home while watching them. His senior, about to get into the SUV, noticed Asahi and smiled faintly. He subtly pointed with his right hand to the bag on his left arm.

On the handle of the bag was a scarf, a birthday present from Asahi Amaharashi, stylishly wrapped.

When Asahi Amaharashi waved his hand slightly, his senior also waved back in the same manner. Then, his senior got into the back seat of the SUV, and the Himi family vehicle drove off. Asahi Amaharashi watched them from the corner of his eye as he arrived home. While unlocking the door, he remembered “before.”

His senior had indeed enjoyed crushing Asahi Amaharashi in the library, on the balcony at nine in the evening, through the lunchbox he provided, and in many other situations. He enjoyed surprising, unsettling, flustering Asahi, and watching him turn red and freeze.

But now, thinking back, what was the intention behind all that?

He understood the fun in it. Not just for his senior, but even for Asahi, being crushed had its own amusement. He didn’t want to lose. It was frustrating. He wanted a normal relationship. Apart from those feelings, he felt honored that his senior was constantly thinking about him. He also enjoyed the thrill of being toyed with by his senior.

However, was there a future in a relationship that only involved being crushed and reacting, just as they were doing?

Even if it was scary to move the relationship forward.

It was hard to believe that his senior, knowing all this from the beginning, truly considered such a relationship as the ultimate ideal. That senior of his, wouldn’t he have known all this? Wasn’t he, therefore, showing some hesitation from the very start? Then a new question arises.

Even though his senior knew all this, why did he decide to act that way? What was his intention?

Asahi Amaharashi kept pondering.

Aki Amaharashi, as always, said while drinking her cocktail.

“The basic premise. Kanako Himi really loves Asahi Amaharashi.”

In the Amaharashi family’s living room, just before nine in the evening. Asahi’s mother was in the bath.

Aki was munching on snacks they had bought on their trip. The last time Aki got drunk at the Amaharashi’s house, she was lamenting about not losing weight despite being on a diet.

Asahi Amaharashi had no objections to the line Aki just uttered. But regardless of that, he thought that maybe the reason she wasn’t losing weight was that she was eating and drinking so heartily.

Aki continued.

“It’s seriously bad. Kanako Himi is so popular, and from the perspective of other guys, it’s like, ‘Why only Asahi Amaharashi, it’s strange,’ to the point of crying and hammering nails into straw dolls. Besides, Kanako Himi was so jealous watching Asahi go on a date with Tsubasa, she was about to explode.”

Asahi had had several conversations like this with Aki since meeting Tasogare Shimaō.

Of course, Aki didn’t have any answers. But talking and listening, Asahi’s thoughts became more organized.

“So, in the end, Kanako Himi too, what was it again, which myth? Right, the myth about sexual partners.”

Aki was getting quite drunk as usual.

“That myth is very attractive, and essentially, it’s not something to be avoided, right? But of course, Kanako Himi is a closet pervert.”

Asahi nodded, holding his coffee cup. Well, except for the last part. He had no objections to the first half of her statement.

“I don’t like being swept along without thinking, but Asahi isn’t like that. He makes his own choices based on his will—”

Aki glanced at the wall clock and exclaimed.

“Wow, it’s almost nine. Is that okay, Asahi?”

“Senior has been at his grandmother’s house since yesterday.”

“Aren’t you lonely?”

Asahi took out his smartphone and showed her a screen.

“Yo. This is me with my nieces and nephews!”

In the attached photo, Kanako Himi was surrounded by four children, ranging from elementary school to preschool age. He was hugging the smallest girl tightly, a full smile on his face. It was a different smile from the one he showed Asahi.

“Because senior is smiling, it’s okay.”

“…Asahi-sama.”

“Huh?”

Aki Amaharashi placed her glass down and sprawled on the sofa, facing up. Asahi Amaharashi frowned.

“Aki-nee? Why suddenly the ‘sama’ thing?”

“Just thinking, what a beautiful romance you’re having… Dating such an incredibly beautiful girl, worrying about all these positive things… Secretly coordinating schedules for trips… Asahi Amaharashi-sama, you’ve gone to a different world. I can’t just call you by your name anymore. I should find a boyfriend during the summer too. Maybe get someone to introduce me to a suitable guy and settle for that…”

“…But, forcing a relationship like that might just lead to a trampled, dull path, right, Aki-nee?”

“Wow, the luxury of the victor… Ah, so annoying! Why am I the one getting love advice from Asahi Amaharashi? This is misuse of roles! You guys are having such a great time, the pinnacle of happiness! What am I supposed to do? Got it, more drinks! I’ll grab another round of drinks, meanwhile, let me think about what I should do first!”

“Maybe reducing the amount of alcohol would be a good start…”

As Aki Amaharashi walked towards the kitchen, Asahi Amaharashi reflected on her words.

Super fun. The best. Drenched in happiness.

It was true. For Asahi Amaharashi, this romance was incredibly fun and utterly blissful. For Asahi Amaharashi? Maybe not just for him. Perhaps for his senior too. So the correct way to put it would be, for Asahi Amaharashi and his senior —

Asahi Amaharashi kept pondering.

“Here, a souvenir for you.”

At nine in the evening, his senior passed a bottle through the balcony. Asahi Amaharashi reached out to receive it, examining the bottle labeled “strawberry jam.”

“The island where my grandmother’s house is located isn’t particularly known for strawberries. This jam is made by a strawberry farm nearby, and it’s really delicious. I’ve been eating it every time I visit since I was in upper elementary school, and I started asking my mom to buy it to take home.”

“Senior, you didn’t have to… Thank you so much.”

“I wanted to bring back the air of my grandmother’s house to Asahi Amaharashi-kun.”

Asahi Amaharashi looked up. His senior smiled faintly, tilting his head.

“Do you have a countryside like that, Asahi Amaharashi-kun?”

“No. Both my parents are city-born. I envy you.”

“Did I tell you before? My grandmother’s island isn’t connected by a bridge, so we have to go by boat. We always cross with our car on a ferry. There’s nothing but beautiful seas and lush mountains. I love it. Saying nothing is good might be because I’m an outsider, though…”

His senior had just returned this evening from the Obon holiday break, probably tired and sleepy from the congestion. He leaned his upper body against the railing, slumping over.

“I always think when I get back home. It’s already over, I won’t see my grandparents for a while, it felt like just a moment…”

His senior stopped speaking and stared intently at Asahi Amaharashi.

Asahi blinked. His senior’s gaze was so intense.

“Senior?”

His senior didn’t answer, continuing to stare.

“Is something wrong?”

Just staring.

“Wh-what is it?”

Still staring.

“Is there something wrong with me?”

His senior showed a faint smile at Asahi’s slightly flustered reaction.

“No. I was just thinking, ‘That’s my Asahi Amaharashi-kun.’ That’s all. My Asahi Amaharashi-kun. The person I like.”

…The person I like.

Asahi Amaharashi couldn’t help but remember his conversation with Tasogare Shimaō. He hadn’t planned to tell his senior about meeting Tasogare Shimaō, or what they talked about, or the worried call from Tsubasa. Because his senior probably didn’t intend to tell Asahi, and that was fine. The reason his senior decided to break things off with Tasogare Shimaō was clear.

For Asahi Amaharashi’s sake.

“Senior…”

“Ahaha. Can’t you call me ‘my senior’ yet? Maybe try calling me Kanako Himi soon? Ah, it’s so fun, so happy, but the only time when time doesn’t speed up and flows slowly is when I’m chatting with Asahi Amaharashi-kun like this.”

“…My senior is greedy, after all —”

He blurted out and then paused.

Something clicked in his mind.

After a few seconds of silence, Asahi Amaharashi inadvertently broke into a smile. Perhaps because of that, his senior sat up and asked what he was laughing about. Asahi shook his head, saying nothing. Tasogare Shimaō had called his senior perfect, but it wasn’t true. Not because Asahi Amaharashi was superior to Tasogare Shimaō or privileged, but because he realized.

His senior wasn’t perfect. No matter how much she seemed like a goddess, she was just a girl. No matter how unshakeable she seemed, she was swayed in various ways. His senior was scared. Greedy. Carrying ordinary desires, doubts, confidence, anxieties, hopes, and —

Deciding to hurt Tasogare Shimaō that much.

Watching a date with Tsubasa and overturning a pre-decided matter.

…Afraid of the passage of time to that extent.

Treasuring this romance, considering it special.

Asahi Amaharashi unraveled another thread of the girl called Kanako Himi.

◆◆◆◇◇◇

I’ll start preparing first thing in the morning. First, I look at the window in my room upon waking up. Then I do some light stretching, wash my face, use the restroom, and toast some bread for breakfast. I glance at the clock. Still early, I think, and while enjoying my toast and coffee, I proceed with my summer assignments.

At the right time, I pick up my smartphone.

This is the first time I’m calling, not calling back.

I make the call. It takes a while to connect. After about ten rings, just when I’m about to hang up, Tsubasa answers with a flustered voice.

“Hello?”

“Ah, …hello? It’s Asahi Amaharashi.”

“I know, you’re registered. Good morning. What’s up?”

“Good morning. Are you okay? You seem in a hurry. What were you doing?”

“Just using the bathroom — don’t make me say it!”

Asahi Amaharashi laughs at Tsubasa’s response.

“Sorry.”

“…You know, Asahi, I’ve always thought this, but you’re surprisingly unfazed by all this. Despite looking like a quiet type, not someone who’s been surrounded by girls.”

Well, I’ve been trained by my senior. Asahi swallowed the words that almost escaped his lips. Tsubaki might have broken up with the senior, but it’s still not something he could say.

He heard the sound of a drink being sipped over the phone. Tsubaki gathered her thoughts and asked.

“So, what’s up?”

Should I ask if it’s bad to call without a reason? Asahi thought for a moment, then decided against adding any unnecessary comments.

“About the other day, when we went to the aquarium.”

“You mean, as a courtesy, when we went on a date?”

“You were taking snapshots of the scenery, food, and the tanks, right? With your phone. Would you mind sending me the photos from that day?”

“…You mean like one or two photos?”

“No, if possible, all of them. It might be a bother, I’m sorry.”

Tsubaki sounded unexpectedly excited.

“Does this mean… you’re okay with that. I’ll send them. Do you, maybe, care a bit about our date that day? Like, you had fun and want to do it again?”

“Not exactly, it’s just… Oh.”

Did I say too much? Asahi regretted his words, but Tsubaki seemed to laugh uncontrollably.

“Asahi, you’re so straightforward in strange ways. I’ll send them later. You know, I never imagined something like this. Laughing and talking with Asahi like this. Until now, I never had a moment where I didn’t think about the senior. It’s strange how life works, I’m grateful to you, but more than that…”

“Tsubaki.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Asahi ended the call and put down his phone, looking towards the large window in the living room. He noticed more dragonflies flying around. As he began his preparations, he waited for the photos from Tsubaki. About an hour later, she sent them.

Life and human emotions are unpredictable, aren’t they? The same goes for the future.

That was the message that came with the photos. Asahi was just about to leave when they arrived. He was tying his shoes. After checking the message and photos, he stuffed his phone into his bag and stood up. The meeting place with his senior was just outside his house, on the greenway.

Asahi stepped outside.

Tsubaki’s message was probably right.

You never know how things might turn.

That’s why he always strived to do his best with his senior, to ensure they didn’t fall in a strange direction. To ensure that he and his senior could move forward equally, straight like the virgin road stretching towards the sea and sky he saw from the hotel terrace on her birthday.

“Hey, Asahi-kun. It’s getting hot today.”

“…Yes, it seems it’ll be hot for a while even after the new term starts.”

“Yeah. But no matter how hot it is, let’s hold hands. In the myths of lovers, that’s usually what they do.”

His senior’s outfit for the date, possibly because Asahi liked her and they were lovers, seemed straight out of a fashion magazine. Asahi tried his best with his own outfit, but standing next to his senior felt intimidating.

But she wouldn’t want Asahi to be so considerate.

Knowing this, Asahi boldly took her hand.

“Senior… Your hand is sweaty.”

“It’s hot, can’t be helped. Your hands are sweaty too.”

Yet, they didn’t let go. Together, they headed to the bus stop in the opposite direction of the school. They boarded the bus, discreetly checking for acquaintances, and sat side by side. During the thirty-minute ride, his senior talked about the summer course.

“It was pretty tough. Finally, it’s over. But scary to think, the real battle of entrance exams is yet to come…”

The talk of exams made Asahi anxious, both about his senior’s exams and his own upcoming ones. It represented uncertainty about the future. But Asahi and his senior had something that gave them strength to overcome.

Asahi gripped his senior’s hand tighter.

His senior looked surprised at first, then smiled softly. Her cheeks reddened slightly, perhaps from seeing Asahi’s expression. The doubt she had shown for a while after their trip seemed to have faded.

Then, they spent the day at the zoo.

“Monkeys!”

Right after entering the main gate, her eyes sparkled at the sight of Monkey Mountain.

“Flamingos, Asahi-kun!”

She imitated a flamingo, standing on one leg, which was too cute.

“Giraffes! Tall like me!”

“Senior, you’re taller than me, but not by that much…”

Asahi’s height was still increasing. He wondered if he could surpass his senior.

“Hello, Mr. Elephant… Oh. It pooped.”

“…Senior.”

“Sorry. Haha, reminds me of elementary school field trips.”

The midday heat inevitably brought sweat. Partway through, his senior bought a bottle of tea. After drinking a third of it in one go, she passed it to Asahi. It was so natural, Asahi wasn’t sure if she did it on purpose.

Hesitating, he drank it to avoid being asked why. When he returned the bottle, she smiled knowingly. Of course, it was intentional.

In the petting area, Asahi was hesitant with the pushy sheep and goats, causing his senior to giggle.

They stopped in front of the lion and tiger cages, almost side by side.

“Try roaring like a lion, Asahi-kun.”

“Eh!?”

“It’s a request from your girlfriend.”

“…Roar?”

Surrounded by young children, Asahi tried his best, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. His senior, with her cool eyes, twisted into a grin and shook with laughter.

“Wow, that was scary.”

After touring the zoo, they returned to the entrance area. The temperature was fiercely high, but the sunlight pouring from the sky was starting to weaken. They entered the air-conditioned souvenir shop near the main gate and casually browsed the gifts.

His senior picked up an elephant hand puppet and murmured.

“This elephant is fluffy and cute, despite being an elephant.”

“Ah, you’re right.”

“I haven’t bought a puppet like this since I grew up.”

“Actually, I think Aki-nee had one like this a long time ago. Um, senior, are you afraid of joyful times passing too quickly?”

“Aki also had stuffed toys as a child, and… eh?”

The senior turned around after a delay, realizing what Asahi had said, her expression puzzled. Asahi took the hand puppet from her and, fitting it on his right hand, spoke while comically moving the elephant.

“Senior, when you talk about a myth-like relationship, I’m scared it might accelerate us to an unknown future too quickly, like you mentioned on your birthday. And becoming too much like a couple from a mythical love story, being so happy and fun, might speed up our days together and turn them into the past too quickly. Is that why you talked about crushing me into powder, senior?”

“…Asahi-kun.”

“I’m sorry.”

Asahi removed the hand puppet and took it to the register.

After buying the puppet and putting it in a bag, he returned to his senior, who stood there puzzled. The shop was crowded, so he took her hand and led her outside to the shade of a tree. Cicadas were singing nearby, heralding the imminent end of summer.

“I’ve been thinking about how I want our relationship to be, and how to make it a reality. You don’t have to try to crush me into powder to stop time, and we don’t have to walk a path where time speeds up. Senior, will you go on another date with me?”

“…When?”

“Tonight. At nine o’clock. Across the balcony.”

The senior blinked her long-lashed eyes.

Nine o’clock in the evening. On the balcony. In a world where only the moon and stars are visible.

Asahi and his senior would date freely and vividly.

◆◆◆◇◇◇

…It was the first date with his senior.

Naturally, it started with Tsubaki’s invitation. At first, the senior insisted that such a boring date should be with Tsubaki, but as the day approached, she changed her mind. “Sorry, Asahi-kun, I’ll go instead,” she declared.

She had initially allowed Tsubaki’s date with the understanding it was a one-time thing. She didn’t want Asahi’s first date to be with someone else. So, she postponed the date with Tsubaki by a week to go to the aquarium with Asahi first.

They could have met at the greenway outside his house.

But as they talked across the balcony, they decided to use Tsubaki’s date plan. So, as previously described by the senior, they agreed to meet at a terminal station away from home. Asahi waited in front of the central gate for his senior. Naturally, Aki was nowhere to be seen in the nearby coffee shop.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

About ten minutes after Asahi started waiting and just a couple of minutes past the scheduled time, a voice called from behind. Turning around, Asahi saw his senior, dressed impeccably, radiating cool beauty even in the summer heat. She stood out in the crowded station. Normally, this busy station might have been risky. It wouldn’t be surprising if someone from their school spotted them. But there, it didn’t matter.

Without hesitation, Asahi took his senior’s hand and smiled.

“Senior, your hands are all sweaty.”

“…So are yours, Asahi-kun. But in the myths of lovers, that’s usually what they do.”

Asahi led her through the ticket gates, the senior following without resistance. He wondered what face she was making, being led through the terminal station by Asahi. Without looking back, he spoke to her as they headed to their platform.

“Senior… Whatever choices you make, I don’t want you to regret them. If you decide on something, I want to think deeply about its meaning and find the best path for both of us. So today, if you’ve chosen to experience a myth rather than crushing me, I’ll make sure you fully enjoy it.”

“I’m looking forward to it, Asahi-kun.”

The senior responded and stopped, causing Asahi to halt as well. Her scent wafted gently. She leaned close to Asahi’s ear and whispered softly.

“But don’t forget… I want to make you feel the same way.”

Asahi shivered as her breath tickled his ear. He turned his flushed face away, and the senior observed him with a small shiver. Her cheeks were slightly tinted, and a mischievous smile played on her lips.

She teased, “Asahi-kun, you’re so sensitive to ear whispers.”

They remained hand-in-hand even on the train, naturally sitting next to each other. A few stations from the terminal, the senior said.

“Since we’re on a date as lovers, let’s talk about sweet things.”

“…Like how cute the senior’s outfit is?”

“That’s just repeating what I said before. I want to hear something original from you, Asahi-kun.”

The senior challenged him playfully. After a moment, Asahi agreed.

“Instead of making small talk with Tsubaki, who’s still a bit distant, can I talk about something more intimate since it’s with you, senior?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“How about we play a game of ‘Shiritori’ about what we want to do in our relationship?”

The senior smiled slyly.

I accept the challenge. Can I start? I want to choose Asahi’s clothes.”

“O-Okay… Let’s have a meal out together.”

“Ah, that’s definitely something I’d like to do. K… K… smoking foods.”

“Senior, are you just making up things randomly? Really? Well, okay then. R, let me think…”

They continued this game of word play for a while and then arrived at the next station.

The train seats were in a box arrangement. A middle-aged woman sat in the seat right in front of Asahi and his senior after some passengers got off at the previous station. The train started moving again. The senior, with a relaxed expression, nudged Asahi.

“It’s your turn, Asahi-kun.”

It was embarrassing. His next word was ‘U’, and he had decided what to say. The unfamiliar woman might not understand what Asahi and his senior were doing, but she would quickly catch on. Asahi didn’t want to be seen as an inexperienced couple foolishly frolicking without a care.

Asahi whispered softly.

“A walk by the seaside.”

The senior let out a tiny yelp and shrank back. Asahi, puzzled, then noticed the goosebumps on her arm. He pretended to whisper again but instead blew gently.

“Ah!”

The senior jumped and shivered.

“…Looks like the senior is sensitive to ear whispers too.”

The senior’s cheeks turned red as she groaned. Asahi caught a glimpse of the unknown woman across from them, watching them with a look that said, ‘They’re just a clueless new couple.’

On their way to the aquarium, they had an early lunch at an Italian restaurant with a view of the sea. Asahi had a pasta set while the senior chose one with dessert included. She triumphantly said it was like fulfilling their wish to dine out together.

After the ‘feeding’ interaction with the senior’s dessert cake, they entered the aquarium.

Asahi, holding hands with the senior, understood. She was probably trying to act cool. Initially, she had said she wouldn’t go, so showing excitement at the aquarium would seem inconsistent. But it was just her pride.

Her excitement was transmitted through her hand.

It was evident right from the start in the shallow water area. As they moved upstairs to the river creatures section, her inability to hide her amusement became apparent. She chuckled at the turtles stretching their necks and was completely mesmerized by the largest tank.

“Wow…!”

She seemed to have given up hiding her excitement.

“Look Asahi-kun, isn’t this interesting? Oh! What’s that, some kind of high-end fish from the snapper family? It looks delicious, and there’s a small shark over there too…!”

“Asahi-kun, the view from the lower floor makes it look like you’re underwater. Shall we take a slow look from down there?”

They moved downstairs, observing various tanks along the way. In the dim light, they watched the large tank from the edge of the wall. Together. Hand in hand. For a while, they didn’t say anything.

It wasn’t awkward. Asahi enjoyed the warmth of their joined hands, their breathing, and her irresistible scent. It felt like the world across the balcony for a moment. Asahi glanced at the senior. What was she thinking as she gazed up at the tank?

He wanted to know.

Everything about the senior.

And wanted her to know more.

About himself.

The senior squeezed his hand, and then an announcement came over the PA system.

“To all our visitors, we have a sea lion show starting at one o’clock in the live pool. Please feel free to join us.”

Asahi and the senior nodded to each other and headed to the live pool.

They found decent seats. While chatting before the show and then watching shoulder-to-shoulder, the senior was so excited that when the host asked for volunteers from the audience, Asahi raised his hand. The senior seemed surprised, but in the end, two children were chosen. Asahi murmured his disappointment, and the senior laughed, saying she didn’t expect him to be so proactive.

“Didn’t think you were the type to volunteer for such things, Asahi-kun.”

Of course, he wasn’t. He raised his hand just thinking it might please the senior, overcoming his embarrassment.

After buying a stuffed toy at the museum shop, they left the aquarium.

There was a brief pause, and then the senior broached the subject.

“That was fun… It seems a waste to just go home now.”

“Shall we sit and talk?”

They chose a bench in the shade near the sea. The midsummer sunlight and the sea were shimmering, but the sea breeze in the shade was pleasant.

Sitting together and looking at the sea, they felt happy. Chatting together was enjoyable. The closeness was thrilling. Asahi felt her gaze and turned to find the senior smiling at him.

It wasn’t a matter of who initiated it.

Asahi and the senior naturally closed their eyes and kissed.

The sound of the waves and the wind’s song were audible. The senior’s heartbeat was audible.

“…Today went by in a flash,” the senior said sadly after they parted.

Asahi shook his head.

“It’s okay because — ”

“— We have this time together. Our own place. Our own world.”

At nine o’clock in the evening, across the balcony. In a world where only the moon and stars were visible.

Asahi concluded his vividly imagined story. A hypothetical tale, considering all he knew about himself and the senior.

In his imagination, it was almost perfect. The senior’s surprised gaze across the balcony seemed to confirm it. Asahi believed that the image he had painted was reflected in her eyes.

If he had gone to the aquarium with the senior instead of Tsubaki.

That ‘if’ was what Asahi had shared with the senior.

Choosing the aquarium as their actual date destination was because the senior had picked the zoo for their day out. If Asahi hadn’t gone with Tsubaki, the senior would have probably chosen the aquarium.

The night sky was clear, the heat of the day fading. Since Obon, the nights had become somewhat cooler.

“That day… when the senior returned from her grandmother’s house. You said that during these balcony talks at nine o’clock, even if it’s fun or happy, time flows slowly.

That made me realize clearly the thoughts that had been vaguely forming in my mind. So, I thought about what to do.”

The night breeze was warm, and no cicadas were heard.

Swatting away a small moth, Asahi continued.

“I wanted to experience the ordinary… things that countless couples around the world do. That’s attractive and perfect, and now even the senior admits it. We both know the destructive power of doing what everyone else does… But is that enough?”

Before he knew it, the senior was gripping the railing, looking down.

Her expression was hard to read.

“That question lingered in my mind even after our trip. I mentioned it in our imagined date too, but I want to respect whatever the senior chooses. Why she said that and choose the best for us — ”

He was so blessed.

Tasogare Shimaō, a wonderful person, couldn’t receive the senior’s love and ended up hurt, shedding tears. Tsubaki couldn’t overcome bullying and family death on her own, relying on others and still couldn’t get what she wanted.

Yet, Asahi alone received the senior’s affection.

Whether he deserved it or not was no longer a concern. He just wanted to be worthy of that fortune.

“The senior’s fear of our relationship progressing rapidly, even after accepting a myth-like relationship, still hesitated, is a fact. That our love is special for us.

And since we’ve walked a path not trampled by everyone else, it seemed a waste to just merge onto that path. That’s why I wanted to find out what’s best for us.”

The senior, still looking down, murmured softly.

“…So, you’ve found the way of being in a relationship that you want, Asahi?”

“No,” Asahi shook his head. “What I want is to exceed your expectations, senior, and make you feel happy in a way you’ve never imagined. I wanted to figure out how to do that. Why did you start talking about crushing me? Why, even after accepting that a myth-like romance isn’t bad, were you still hesitant?

Thinking about it, I believe I have found an answer. I hope you’ll like it, senior.

If you, senior, are most afraid of time speeding up too much when you’re too happy, making our days together quickly become the past… Then even if we enjoy a mythical love and are filled with happiness, we should make sure the perceived speed of time doesn’t accelerate. You once said, senior, that lovers should actually be freer.”

Yes, freedom.

It’s about taking a unique path that no one else has walked. It’s about going with the flow or consciously walking a path that shines brightly despite being trodden by everyone. And then adding our own unique touches to it.

Every love is unique to the individuals involved.

Our love, between Asahi and the senior, is our own, untainted by others, nurtured solely by us.

“Our love is still a secret, except for Aki-nee who accidentally found out due to my mistake. I understand your idea of keeping the flower of love secretly blooming to make it sweetly beautiful. So let’s continue to keep it a secret, at least for a while. Let’s ignore the irregularity that is Aki-nee. Our love is known only to us, and its mysterious allure is indeed captivating.

With that in mind, I think it’s okay for us to follow the myth of lovers in our relationship. For example, if after a date, we feel sad that it’s over too quickly and miss the fun, then we can just have another date right here, like we just did. In our own world.

We had a date at the zoo, but we also had a date at the aquarium here. I’ve become interested in this… What about you, senior? I’m always thinking about you, and imagining how you would react or what you would say in such situations is fun in itself. There are endless things I want to do with you, senior. Don’t you feel the same? Here, I can imagine anything with you.

Things we can do in reality, things we can’t. Things we’ve done, things we’ll do in the future. Things we wanted to do but couldn’t. If we overlay these imagined experiences over what we’ve actually done, I’m sure… our perceived time together won’t be shorter than when you were stopping time by crushing me into powder.”

No matter how fun it is, time flows slowly here, and if we pack it with ifs in our love and imagination, keeping our days dense with love and secrets.

“If at some point, we feel our relationship is progressing too fast and it scares us, we can just stop here, across the balcony. When we first met, when we first touched hands, when you first teased and played with me. We can talk about those memories, or imagine what would have happened if we had made different choices then.

If at some point, we get intimidated by the pace of our relationship, we can just rewind time here or add denser experiences to slow down the acceleration. Senior, although time flies when we’re having fun, new experiences also slow down time.

Here on the balcony, I can imagine an unbelievable amount of new ifs with you, senior. Especially when we talk about them together. You’re good at imagining ‘what ifs,’ aren’t you?

For me, this place and time, nurturing our one and only love with you, senior, is incredibly special. It’s the same for you, right? Here, no matter what obstacles or problems we face in our relationship, we can compensate and repair them.

We can double or triple our time. Experience the future, enjoy different choices, and redo any mistakes. For instance, there’s a cultural festival next term. Your last high school cultural festival. In reality, as long as we keep our relationship secret, we can’t go around together. But in our imagined stories here, of course, we can watch live shows and songs together, visit classmates’ stalls, and snack around.

“Last year, I heard they sold churros at the festival. I don’t know this year’s plans, so I’ll imagine based on last year… We both buy churros. Probably you’ll finish yours first, senior. You’ll look at me with a grin, and I’ll get a bit defensive. Then you’ll open your mouth for a bite.

In front of all the other students. There might be girls screaming in surprise, and boys getting flustered just seeing you do that. Naturally, I will be too. Hesitating because it’s in public, I’ll be unsure, and watching me, you might get a thrill.

But in the end, not wanting to embarrass you or feel defeated, I’ll bring my half-eaten churro to your mouth. You’ll eat it, and then… ‘Really, stop it!’ Tsubaki will scold me.

She’ll pull me away from you and whisper secretly. I understand you want to be lovey-dovey with the senior, but think about the public setting. I don’t think she’ll listen to my arguments. Then she’ll insist that I bring you properly to our class’s stall.

We enter the school building, visit a few stalls, and Tasogare Shimaō-san will probably serve us with a smile. She won’t say anything strange, just happily serve us, and at the end… she’ll pat my back lightly.

When we leave the building, Aki-nee, who had cheekily signed up as a relative, will be grinning with a churro stuffed in her cheek. You’ll greet her politely, but Aki-nee will provoke you slightly, creating a bit of an uneasy atmosphere. While this is happening, you’ll suddenly look gloomy. I wonder why, and then I realize… your parents have…

…No, I’ll stop here. Maybe I’m taking away one of our future joys. After the cultural festival’s plans are announced, I’m looking forward to discussing these ifs with you. And at the festival, I’m excited to meet you in reality, not just in imagined stories.

Secretly, so other students won’t notice. Just a little bit, in between our schedules. I think it’ll be thrilling because it’s a secret. You’ll probably push the boundaries of what makes me nervous.

And while cleaning up after the festival, even if we feel it went by too fast, overlaying other times at night will make it feel enough. So, senior, you don’t have to be afraid or hesitate anymore.”

Asahi took a deep breath and continued.

“This love we nurture across the balcony, and the love we actively walk following the myth of lovers, combined, will surely give us denser times than anyone else. Even if you get busier with exam preparations, senior, it’s the same… This is how I envision our relationship, just for you and me, senior. What do you think?

Of course, I don’t want to impose this answer on you, senior. If you don’t quite like it, I’m willing to retract it at any time. But when I had this epiphany, I thought this would resonate with your feelings… Senior?”

Asahi called out to the senior.

She looked up at him with a smile, but her eyes seemed to sparkle in the night, though obscured by the darkness. Speaking in a subdued voice, she said,

“Asahi-kun. You’ve been thinking about this seriously for a while, haven’t you?”

She wanted to see her expression more clearly, understand her thoughts on his answer, know her more deeply, and align their hearts closer. Asahi decided in a moment.

If he was closer, he could see more clearly.

He placed his foot on the window frame, but the senior halted him.

“Asahi-kun, wait—”

He didn’t wait. Even if the senior was afraid of being too close in a world where no one else existed, they could surely compensate for it here across the balcony. Now, Asahi and the senior, more than ever, could overcome the distance that had once made her hesitant. They had nurtured their love further since then, as lovers.

Asahi was about to step onto his windowsill…

“No,” the senior said. It wasn’t her words, but her actions that stopped Asahi.

“…Eh?”

Asahi murmured, blinking. The senior, quicker than he could move, had pushed herself up and stood on the railing, the moon at her back. Her hair swayed beautifully in the night breeze. Realizing what Asahi was about to do, she smiled mischievously. However, Asahi was concerned.

“Senior, that’s dangerous—”

“Then Asahi-kun, will you catch me?”

The senior leaped towards Asahi’s room, crossing the night.

Kanako was preparing for the trip.

Their first trip together—naturally, with Asahi.

For the first time, she lied to her family on a grand scale.

It was a trip with a friend, she had said. Of course, she couldn’t say the truth; even if they were seriously dating, a trip with a boy would never be approved. Not even under the guise of a break from summer classes. This was Kanako’s first adventure, her first wrongdoing. But her excitement far outweighed any guilt.

The thrill far outweighs the guilt.

A two-night, three-day trip to a resort hotel on a southern island. How shall I play with Asahi Amaharashi? How much can I savor Asahi Amaharashi’s reactions? What does Asahi Amaharashi think about Kanako Himi’s birthday? Perhaps Asahi Amaharashi has prepared a celebration?

The excitement is so overwhelming that I can’t help but smile.

Packing my carry-on bag with clothes and the penguin stuffed animal Asahi Amaharashi bought me at the aquarium, I realize I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight.

This is more exciting than any field trip or school excursion.

I’ve never been this excited in my life.

Asahi Amaharashi embraced the senior who burst into the room, both collapsing to the floor. So, the senior now looms over Asahi Amaharashi in a crawling position.

The senior peers down at Asahi Amaharashi’s face and says, “I think you understand, Asahi Amaharashi… This face, these eyes of mine, they’re the answer to how I feel about what you’ve just said.”

There was no room for doubt. The senior’s beauty under the LED light was strikingly radiant, her eyes brimming with tears. It was clear. Asahi Amaharashi wasn’t going to make any absurd interpretations of those tears. They were a definite affirmation. It wasn’t so much about the content of Asahi Amaharashi’s proposal, but rather that Asahi Amaharashi had thought it through so deeply.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to surprise you, Asahi Amaharashi. I wanted to touch you. I wanted to go beyond what you expected of me, just like how you always exceed my expectations. This is my first time coming to your room, Asahi Amaharashi.”

I was definitely surprised. It was completely unexpected. The senior’s hair flowed smoothly. Asahi Amaharashi, heart pounding, responds, “Yes, that’s true.”

The senior chuckled at Asahi Amaharashi’s expression.

“It seems to have gone well. Look, Asahi, you’d be startled too if someone suddenly jumped into your room. I’m just the same.”

“No, the main reason for my agitation is this posture.”

“Is that so? Then, shall we separate for a bit to make it easier to talk?”

The senior gently stroked Asahi’s cheek. It was a caress as if she was touching something very precious, something she never wanted to be broken, slowly imprinting the sensation and time into her palm. The senior stood up and looked around Asahi’s room.

With a playful tone, she said, “Yep, this is Asahi’s room. …Can I see your graduation album?”

“Now? At this timing?”

“Hehe, just kidding. It was a joke. We’ll do that next time. I’ll bring my album too. …You know, Asahi,”

The senior flopped onto the bed, Asahi’s bed. Asahi felt his tension not easing but increasing. The senior was in his room. In an instant, the room was filled with her scent, as if it had become a bath. It was a space only for Asahi and the senior, where no one else would come today.

“Can I try it next time?”

“What do you mean?”

“Just as you suggested, Asahi. To imagine a story and talk about it. To layer moments so we won’t feel time speeding up, even if it’s fun or happy. If. Our last trip was fun. It was a wonderful birthday. But what if it had been just the two of us?”

On the plane, obviously, they sat next to each other, by the window and aisle. When selecting seats, Asahi offered to give up the window seat for both trips. Kanako refused.

She wanted to see outside and didn’t refuse out of consideration, despite having flown more times than Asahi.

As the plane climbed steadily and reached a stable flight, the seatbelt sign turned off. Kanako saw Asahi gazing out the window and smiled secretly. She peered out too, naturally positioning her body in front of Asahi’s.

“Asahi, what are you looking at?”

“Oh, …uh, the sea.”

“Really? Asahi, I chose the aisle seat for this reason. So we can snuggle up together and look out the window, right?”

“…I won’t get agitated over such a small thing.”

Kanako looked closely at Asahi, who tried to protest. Despite his ‘everything is fine’ expression, his eyes were wavering, his lips quivering, his nose twitching, and his cheeks slightly red. Kanako found Asahi’s stubborn yet obviously leaking emotions irresistible. She shivered.

After landing, they took a limousine bus from the airport to the resort hotel they had booked. It was unlikely they’d be recognized by acquaintances. They didn’t have to worry about anything.

Kanako floated lazily in the pool, sitting in a large float ring, basking in the sun and water. Asahi hung onto the ring, floating around. They just talked. That’s all… Yet how fulfilling was that?

After some time, they went for afternoon tea Kanako had wanted to try. At the tea lounge near the lobby, Asahi was amazed by the light snacks and cakes on the three-tiered plate. He hadn’t been familiar with the concept of afternoon tea.

Kanako ate with Asahi and enjoyed herb tea, pondering something.

Their room had twin beds, not a double. Instead of their usual balcony conversations, Kanako felt even closer to Asahi, within easy reach, with no one else around.

What would the night bring?

For dinner, they went to the buffet. They enjoyed selecting various dishes, picking what they thought the other would like, playing a scoring game. Kanako also played with Asahi, who occasionally surprised her with his actions.

Kanako thought about it throughout.

What would the night bring? No, that’s not a concern for tonight. It might be nothing. The real issue is tomorrow night – Kanako’s birthday.

After taking turns in the shower room, they gazed at the night sea from the terrace, then chatted in the room for a while. In the dimly lit night, both were probably conscious and excited. Occasionally, they felt an awkwardness, not unpleasant.

But in the end, they only kissed.

Asahi, sitting on the sofa, gave Kanako a light kiss and then moved to pull away. Kanako grabbed his arm and pulled him back, kissing him longer and deeper. Then they finally parted.

“Good night, Asahi.”

“…Good night, senior.”

They went to their respective beds. Just before the date changed, Asahi suddenly spoke.

“Senior, are you awake?”

“…Awake.”

Her heart pounded loudly, preventing her from sleeping. She hadn’t slept well the night before. Despite turning away, Kanako knew Asahi had left his bed by the sound. He came around to face her. After a glance at the clock, he smiled. Even in the dark, she could tell.

“Happy birthday.”

…The date had changed without her noticing.

From under the covers, Kanako peeked out, only her eyes visible, and replied.

“…Thank you.”

“Senior, there’s a place I want to go with you after dinner tomorrow… or rather, today, date-wise. Would you like to?”

“I’d go anywhere with you, Asahi.”

What will happen?

In the morning, Kanako applied sunscreen on Asahi’s back. He showed a satisfactory reaction. After breakfast, they walked on the beach, where lively little crabs scuttled about.

They went on a glass-bottom boat, feeding tropical fish. At the poolside bar, they ordered juice with two straws, and Kanako enjoyed Asahi’s reaction again. They played on the beach – chasing, splashing, and playing in the sand. Surprisingly, such primitive activities were extremely fun. After a day of frolicking, they were presented with a cake and a small bouquet Asahi had pre-ordered during dinner. Kanako asked the hotel staff to put them in their room. Then she and Asahi headed straight to the jetty for an emotional planet cruise.

Kanako had never experienced anything like it.

The Milky Way separating Orihime and Hikoboshi, the cradle-like night sea, the sea breeze that seemed to cleanse her lungs. An unexpectedly luxurious birthday present – a thin high-brand scarf Asahi seemed to have spent a part of his savings on.

Lying on their backs near the catamaran yacht’s bow, they gazed at the night sky. Kanako, chatting with Asahi, feared her intense heartbeat might transmit through their clasped hands. She realized she was incredibly moved. Perhaps she had never been so astonished in her life. When Asahi looked up at the Milky Way, discussing a book he’d read, Kanako glanced at his profile.

She wanted to give something back to Asahi.

She wanted to thank him for such a wonderful birthday. She would give anything she could. But she knew it was just an excuse. It was more straightforward. Her desire. She knew it. The raw feelings she held now. Not gratitude. Asahi was unbearably dear. His presence was blindingly precious. She wanted to touch him more, to be touched more. Her heart, her everything. Dear. Liked. Loved. Cute. Asahi, Asahi, Asahi…

“Senior?”

“…Eh!?”

She let out a strange voice. Asahi looked surprised.

“Uh, it looks like the boat is starting to return… that’s what I was going to say. What’s wrong? Your face is red, isn’t it?”

“Not red at all, not even a bit.”

Walking the night promenade back to the hotel, hand in hand with Asahi, Kanako thought.

When they return to the room, the cake and bouquet Asahi had prepared earlier will be there. She knew it. Her heart would race again, surpassing another threshold. She’d be moved again. Cry again after the cruise. Embrace Asahi. Then chat, take a shower, and after that…

She no longer wondered what would happen.

Kanako understood what actions she would take.

She glanced sideways at Asahi.

Kanako thought strongly.

…How blessed am I.

Could she truly repay such great fortune? To have met a boy so dear. Saved every day across the balcony. Days shining because of Asahi. Happy in a world just for the two of them, where anything was possible…

“Senior?”

Asahi urged the senior. It wasn’t the first time. It was the third. Yet, the senior, lying on Asahi’s bed, didn’t respond.

What if they had been alone on that trip? The senior, who had begun to talk about this ‘if’ scenario, suddenly stopped midway. She stopped talking while imagining playing on the beach on the second day of the hypothetical three-day trip.

She just lay there, silent and red as a boiled octopus.

Asahi gazed at the senior on his bed. He had never seen her looking so extremely embarrassed, not even on the night they got together, when he had crossed over to the senior’s balcony. The senior was just staring at the ceiling. Unfortunately, Asahi understood.

What the senior was thinking, what she had imagined.

Why she stopped talking.

Asahi hesitated slightly. This silence was somehow comfortable. He wasn’t bothered by his own tension, thinking the senior might be even more overwhelmed. The quietness of this summer night was about to end, a summer night like something from “The Pillow Book,” though they hadn’t seen any fireflies.

The senior’s chest rose and fell slowly.

Asahi spoke.

“Senior, aren’t you going to continue the ‘if’ story?”

The senior didn’t respond. So, Asahi pressed further.

“Senior, did you stop because in your imagination, we, uh… did something intimate?”

He struck a nerve, her reaction was intense.

“Wha… What!?”

The senior sat up abruptly, her shaking gaze, trembling body, and the sudden sweat all answered for her. There was no room for debate. Yet, the senior attempted a feeble protest.

“Wha-what are you talking about, Asahi!? That’s ridiculous, it’s just… just your wishful thinking, right…!?”

“…You said it yourself, in reality.”

—If we returned to the hotel with these feelings… if Asahi and our mothers weren’t there. If we returned to the same room, just the two of us. I hardly have any confidence in my self-control.

—The feeling of wanting to be intimate with Asahi.

“When did I say that!?”

“On your birthday, during the cruise…”

“No, no, no! I didn’t say anything! Even if I did, it must have been a metaphor! Right now, it’s just… I started talking about it without intending to let my imagination drift that way, I was surprised, I mean, every time I think of traveling alone with Asahi, my thoughts end up going there, and I was just worried about it, I mean, basically, Asahi, I’m trying to say that… uh… …”

“…”

“…”

“…Senior?”

“Yes?”

The senior’s formal response was amusing, and despite the heart-pounding tension, Asahi managed a smile.

“May I sit next to you?”

“It’s your room, Asahi. Of course, you’re free to do as you like.”

Asahi stood up and sat next to the senior, whose gaze was still fluttering with nervousness. The single bed creaked under their combined weight. The senior, face flushed red, looked down. Asahi, observing her profile, made a suggestion.

“I have a proposal. In this world, between my room and your room, can I call you by your name?”

“Himi?”

“Why that? Kanako, …Miss Kanako.”

“Before, I said the same. Asahi, you can call me whatever you want. …Oh, gosh. …Asahi. …Asahi!”

The senior seemed to muster her spirit.

She stopped trying to hide her face and turned towards Asahi. Asahi must have looked terribly embarrassed, but the senior, equally overwhelmed, didn’t shiver as usual. Still, she smiled gently, holding Asahi’s cheeks in both hands, and gave him a light kiss.

“Asahi, do you understand the meaning of the answer you gave?”

“…What?”

“Even if we spend wonderful days together, build a happy relationship, double or triple our time in this world just for us two, it won’t pass in the blink of an eye. Everything will be fine, no problems. That means you’ve broken down the barriers. The ones in my heart, all of them. The reasons why I should restrain myself. Can you take responsibility for making me feel this loved?”

“For anything with the senior, I can.”

Asahi replied, holding the senior’s hand. Now it was his turn to kiss her. The senior responded to the kiss, grabbing the front of Asahi’s T-shirt with her free hand.

Then.

The night breeze, carrying the scent of early autumn, flowed through the open window.

The lovers learned more about each other that night.

Just as they had done several times during this scorching summer. Just as the buds of love had grown into true love through accumulation, the lovers became truly in love through their shared experiences.