▣ KO-FI ▣ DISCORD ▣
Volume 1, Chapter 5: The Beginning of a Shared Rental Life
Life in the shared rental was more peaceful than expected on the second day.
After university, I went home, bought some bath soap on the way, ate dinner from the convenience store, took a bath, watched some anime, and then went to sleep.
Then, the morning of the third day arrived.
It was a class-free Saturday at the university.
The weather was clear, a perfect day for doing laundry.
I had accumulated a fair amount of laundry. I went to grab my laundry basket to head to the washing area, but someone was already there.
“Good morning, Koharu-chan.”
“Good morning desu, Yuji-senpai. Are you going to do laundry too?”
Koharu, in her indoor clothes and pajamas, was holding a laundry basket.
“Yes, I am. But if you’re using it, I can come back later.”
“Oh, you can use it first if you want.”
“No, it’s fine, you were here first… don’t worry about me.”
“No, no, I just can’t start without washing this by hand first.”
Koharu showed me her gymnastics uniform, stained with mud.
It was worrying whether it could be properly cleaned just by putting it in the washing machine.
She must have planned to hand-wash it before putting it in the machine, which is why she let me go first.
“Then, I’ll use it first.”
I started loading my dirty clothes into the washing machine, which was much larger than the one I used before.
Even if I had more clothes, it wouldn’t be a problem.
“Yuji-senpai~. I can’t seem to scrub off the stain on the gymnastics uniform. Maybe my hands are not strong enough. Could you help me wash it?”
“Let me have a look…”
“Ah, relying on you is never in vain, thank you!”
I went over to Koharu to look at the gymnastics uniform in the washing basin. The mud was still clinging to it, leaving it dirty. After checking, I decided to gently scrub it first.
“Getting it this dirty… Did you play in the mud like a child?”
“I just accidentally stepped into a muddy puddle, okay? Playing in the mud like before is out of the question.”
“Alright, alright, let’s say it’s like that. But for now, this won’t do. If we scrub too hard, it might damage the fabric. Let’s just put some detergent in and let it soak in water for a while.”
The best course of action was to let the gymnastics uniform soak in water with detergent before the stains came off. I looked up and saw Koharu staring at me with an incredulous look.
“What’s wrong?”
“I was just thinking… Senpai, you’ve changed too. Not only your appearance, but you also do laundry now. Didn’t you used to leave all these chores to your mom? It feels a bit strange. I keep wondering if you’re really the brother I knew.”
To me, Koharu seemed to be the one full of incongruities. She used to shyly hover behind me.
The fact that she could now initiate conversations so actively and cheerfully was unbelievable.
“It’s not okay to look at me with that kind of lecherous gaze, that’s sexual harassment.”
“I never imagined Koharu-chan would become so cheerful. It’s just a bit surprising.”
“Eh? Shouldn’t you, Senpai, be the one to say that?”
“Hmm?”
“Aiya aiya, it’s all your fault that I became like this! Do you remember the encouraging words you said to me on the day I moved?”
“Did I say something?”
“Did you really forget… No, do you really not remember?”
I tried to recall the day Koharu moved away. As we grew older, we gradually drifted apart. But I remember going to bid her farewell when she moved.
“Ah ah! Now I remember. I did say a lot to you!”
“Really! The one who changed me forgetting about it is the worst!”
Seeing Koharu huffing in anger, I remembered the day I went to bid her farewell before she moved.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇**
—5 years ago, on a certain day.
“Um, I’m moving, so, um, thank you for everything up to now.”
Koharu-chan, who lived nearby, was moving and came to say goodbye.
I used to take care of her when she was little, but as we grew up, we became distant.
Even so, she came to bid farewell, which touched me deeply.
“Take care. We haven’t seen each other much lately, but has your shy nature improved?”
She used to cling to me timidly when she was little.
We were about to part, yet I found myself asking about this.
“Yes. It’s mostly better now, and I’ve made many friends.”
“That’s good to….”
Was my disbelief that obvious? She confessed with a look of deep apology.
“I lied, I don’t have any friends at all. But please, don’t tell Mom, she’d worry. Why don’t I have any friends, you know?”
“I’ve seen you going to the library alone after school, always giving off a somewhat gloomy vibe.”
“Ah, ahahaha…”
The 10-year-old girl forced a bitter laugh.
Thankfully, she didn’t cry, at least not for now. But who knows, she might actually break down crying soon.
Feeling a bit regretful, I started to encourage Koharu-chan.
“Keep your chin up.”
“Eh?”
“At the new school, no one knows Koharu-chan yet, so it’s an opportunity to be proactive. Try to be as cheerful and lively as the characters you admire. Now, there are people who know your quiet and gloomy nature, and you’re afraid of being mocked by them, aren’t you? But at the new school, there won’t be anyone to ridicule you. So, go for it. By the way, it’s hard to reinvent yourself in high school. Most people from middle school know each other. The likelihood of encountering familiar faces from junior high in high school is pretty high. This means, this is your biggest chance.”
That spring, as I was entering high school, I had planned to reinvent myself and shed my introverted image. However, because classmates from my middle school were in the same class, my high school debut ended in failure.
The fact that I had classmates from middle school in my class filled me with regret countless times. That’s why I passionately conveyed this advice to Koharu.
It’s like taking revenge for me.
No, no, it’s pathetic to expect a primary school student to take revenge for me.
“Because I heard that big brother’s high school debut was a failure, your words are really convincing.”
“Oh… oops.”
Damn it, did Mom really tell everyone about it?
My failed high school debut, a thing that absolutely should not have been spread around the neighborhood, was being casually discussed…
“Bro, brother?”
“Sorry, sorry, I was just regretting how all adults seem to lie. Take care, Koharu-chan. Listen, try to change in junior high, there won’t be a better chance in high school. Well, if you ever have trouble, come to me for advice.”
I hurriedly took a notepad from the entryway, wrote down my contact information, and handed it to her.
“Thank you. I, I understand. Koharu will take revenge for big brother! So, so, big brother, you should also do your best.”
“Ah… yeah.”
Being comforted by a girl five years younger made me want to cry. Being looked at with such pity by a primary school student was nothing but pathetic.
“After seeing how pathetic big brother is, I feel more motivated. I’ll do my best!”
“To add, I do have friends, okay?”
“….People who don’t have friends always say that. Because I used to say the same.”
She didn’t believe me at all. But well, that’s okay.
Even if it’s just a little, if I can be a cautionary example to give her hope, I’m satisfied.
“Then, take care. Next time we meet, I expect to see a cheerful and energetic Koharu-chan.”
“Big brother, you should also do your best. I believe you can make friends, even if not many.”
“It’s not that, I do have some friends. It’s just the high school debut that failed.”
“Goodbye! To show big brother a cheerful and energetic Koharu-chan next time we meet, I’ll work hard! By then, if big brother has also made friends, that would be great!”
I have friends… it’s just the high school debut that failed…
Before I could properly respond, Koharu-chan had disappeared from my sight.
What will happen now?
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
Remembering that conversation, I looked at the angry expression on Koharu-chan’s face in front of me.
“Ah, the reason you said you were close to me before… was it to show me how you’ve changed?”
“Exactly!!!”
Koharu glared at me with incredible intensity.
The reason for such a dramatic change in the impression Koharu-chan gave was because of our conversation when she was 10, before she moved away.
To show the change she underwent as a result of that conversation, she acted familiar and close to me. Understanding this, I muttered to myself, “Mm-hmm.”
“Ah~, why did I forget?”
“How can you be so thoughtless? So, let’s start over, have I become the cheerful and energetic Koharu-chan you talked about back then?”
Koharu-chan grinned playfully.
She grew taller, her chest noticeably developed. Her slightly unruly hair from before was now soft, semi-long hair. Always smiling and coming to me playfully.
The gloomy Koharu-chan of the past was nowhere to be seen.
“Ah yes, you have.”
Koharu showed a relieved smile and made a victory sign in front of my chest.
“A great victory for me!”
“But why, despite changing so much, didn’t you contact me?”
“Yuji-senpai was a loner back then, right? What would you do if you saw someone as cute and sociable as me?”
“….Ah, um, I’d be pathetically envious to the point of wanting to die.”
Koharu didn’t say anything to my reply, just smiled knowingly.
The laundry would take some more time, so I thought about heading back to my room to relax for a while.
“Come help me with my homework~ Since you forgot about the day we parted, can’t you be a little nicer to me?”
“Of course, I can. It’s my fault for forgetting.”
“Then I’ll go get my homework!”
“Can I wait for you in the living room?”
“Okay!”
With a burst of energy, Koharu-chan replied and headed back to her room.
After waiting for about 3 minutes on the living room sofa, Koharu came back with her homework and stationery.
“Sorry for the wait. This is an English translation assignment.”
It was an assignment to translate the English sentences from the textbook into Japanese.
I glanced at the textbook and immediately recognized its contents. Koharu was attending the same high school that I used to commute to a year and two months ago.
“Don’t hesitate to ask me, but I won’t just give you the answers.”
“Do you really know, Senpai?”
“Don’t underestimate a college student.”
“So then, let’s not delay. I don’t know this word; can you teach me?”
“Bring over the dictionary, the dictionary.”
“Eh~ Come on, Senpai, teach me. Or are you trying to teach but don’t understand it as much as you thought…?”
Koharu-chan was provoking me.
To show her that I knew my stuff, I grabbed a pen and paper.
“Just wait a bit.”
I translated the English text from the textbook into Japanese.
After writing up to a suitable point, I handed the paper filled with translations to Koharu.
“It should be something like this.”
“Thanks to Yuji-senpai, I’m really happy. Phew, you wrote down the answers beautifully according to my words, Senpai is so easy to handle.”
Of course, Koharu-chan, as expected, began to frolic happily.
“By the way, I included a few wrong answers in there. You should check which ones are correct.”
“Eh~ Now I can’t happily go play. Be a bit nicer to me, will you? Otherwise, Senpai, you might never get a girlfriend.”
“No, I’ve actually had a girlfriend before.”
“I know all about your past, Senpai. I can tell when you’re lying~”
“From Koharu’s perspective, that makes sense…”
Recalling various embarrassing moments, I could understand. Knowing my past, it’s understandable why she wouldn’t believe I’ve had a girlfriend.
“Essentially an otaku. Failed high school debut, no friends. Although now you have a good hairstyle and fashionable clothes, I still wouldn’t believe you’ve had a girlfriend.”
“Isn’t it a bit much to say I had no friends in high school? I’ve told you, I just failed my high school debut, I did have close buddies.”
“It’s okay not to pretend.”
“Anyway, even though you stubbornly think I’ve never had a girlfriend, look at me now. I feel like I have a sunny disposition, I look like someone who could have a girlfriend, right?”
“Then show me the proof~”
“Well, umm…”
I couldn’t just say that Mafuyu from the same shared house was my ex-girlfriend. I couldn’t handle the strange attention that would come from others because of that.
“As expected, you’re lying. By the way, how did you become so stylish, Senpai? Tell me. How did you escape from your messy hair and the kind of clothes that would definitely be called uncool if you had friends?”
“Alright, enough of the useless talk. Let’s get back to the homework.”
“Ah, changing the topic! Come on, tell me~~”
“Being too annoying will make friends dislike you.”
Despite her persistent questioning, I kept deflecting Koharu-chan’s questions with various topics.
Later, Koharu-chan brought a box of juice from the fridge to appease me.
“Sorry for being so persistent. Can you forgive me now?”
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
40 minutes into the homework session, Koharu-chan put her pen aside and exclaimed,
“I’m exhausted!!!”
“It’s too early to take a break; you haven’t finished yet.”
“Speaking of which, Senpai, you haven’t had breakfast yet, have you?”
Ignoring my advice, Koharu-chan closed her notebook and started a conversation with me.
“I usually don’t get up this early, so I often have breakfast and lunch together. But what about you, Koharu-chan? Didn’t you skip breakfast too? Are you okay?”
“Yeah~, the person responsible for cooking didn’t wake up.”
“Is it Hiyori-san who cooks for you?… But it’s already 9 o’clock, isn’t it?”
“Although I wish she would wake up earlier, I can’t just wake her up because I’m hungry, especially since she works so hard and gets tired~”
“Why don’t you cook for yourself?”
“No way! I believe cooking should be left to those who are good at it, so I don’t cook.”
Koharu seemed to be waiting for Hiyori-san to wake up and make her breakfast. It was clear from their shared meals that they had a good relationship.
Beep— Beep— Beep—
Suddenly, a faint sound indicating that the laundry was done came from the changing room.
Koharu was waiting to use it, so I quickly went to take out the clothes from the washing machine.
“The clothes are washed, I’ll go hang them up to dry.”
“Ah, I’ll go check on the gym clothes that were soaking. I’ll leave the homework for now! Although I didn’t make much progress after talking with Yuji-senpai for so long, I’m still very grateful~”
Koharu bowed deeply in gratitude, and we both headed out of the living room towards the changing room.
“The stains that weren’t scrubbed off earlier are now clean. Honestly~ why are gym clothes always so noticeably white when they get dirty?”
“Who knows? Alright, the washing machine is free now. Thanks for letting me use it first.”
“Ah, okay. Here we go!”
Koharu put the damp gym clothes into the now-available washing machine, along with other clothes that needed washing.
Noticing that I was watching her, Koharu suddenly stopped and said to me,
“What a pervert. Staring so intensely at the clothes I’m putting in the washing machine, that’s just too naughty~. Ouch, hey, stop it. My cheeks are stretching, they’re stretching, let go!”
“I need to lecture an arrogant junior like you. You know, with the relationship I have with Koharu-chan, something like pulling cheeks isn’t harassment.”
“Kuku. Indeed, such a trivial matter doesn’t count as harassment. So, it’s okay if I harass Senpai then, right? Is it okay? If you keep pinching my soft cheeks, I might just start harassing you!”
“If Koharu-chan can harass me, then go ahead.”
“Ah~ It wouldn’t count as a counterattack if it only pleases you. Kuku, then, how should I retaliate against Yuji-senpai…”
“Stop dawdling, quickly put all the clothes that need washing into the machine.”
Since Koharu had stopped her actions, I took the laundry basket from her and started placing the clothes into the machine piece by piece.
Despite my intentions to help, Koharu grabbed my hand in a panic, hindering me from continuing.
“S, stop! This is getting out of hand! Really bad!”
“What’s so bad?”
“It’s just all sorts of bad.”
I pushed her hand away, preventing me from working, and took out the remaining items from the basket.
The clothing I took out was very light, possibly the lightest I had ever encountered.
Ah, it wasn’t clothing, but underwear. By the time I realized this, it was already too late.
“I told you it’s not okay!”
Koharu swiftly snatched the white, cutely styled underwear from my hand and hid it behind her back.
“Sorry. You stopped, so I thought I’d help you put it in.”
“Not at all! It was specifically because you might see my underwear that I strongly stopped you! Well, well, I know you didn’t mean any harm, so I won’t be mad this time!”
“I appreciate your understanding.”
“Ha~ It’s so hot. Really hot.”
With the end of spring, the temperature had recently started to rise significantly.
Although not to the point of sweating, Koharu fanned her chest over her pajamas with her hand.
Rather than being hot, it seemed more like she was trying to calm down her unsettled feelings, hanging in limbo because I had touched her underwear and couldn’t scold me.
Having already done the deed, I apologized to Koharu once again.
“I’ll be more careful next time. I’m really sorry…”
“No need to apologize, I know you didn’t mean it.”
Koharu kept fiddling with the ends of her semi-long hair.
I held a basket filled with washed clothes.
“I’m going to hang these up now.”
“That area in the yard has a pole for hanging clothes, if you could use that, please?”
Koharu’s face was slightly red as she watched me leave the changing room.
I stopped to readjust the slightly loose basket in my hand. Due to the slightly open door of the changing room, I overheard a murmuring voice inside.
“Talking about having a girlfriend, he’s become so accustomed to dealing with girls… And he was unexpectedly calm when he touched my underwear…”
It’s not because I’m used to girls or anything, Koharu is just Koharu. It’s generally impossible to feel desire towards a child who’s like a cute little sister.
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇
Alright, I hung the clothes up on the drying pole outside the window.
It’s a bit late, but I’m hungry, so it’s time for breakfast. I took out a sweet bun from the bag, bought in advance for any time eating.
As the bun was dry, I felt thirsty and took out the packet of juice Koharu had given me earlier from the fridge.
“Good morning.”
Then I ran into Mafuyu, who looked very sleepy.
“Good morning. You look really tired.”
“I stayed up late…”
Mafuyu and I were heading to the same place. Standing in front of the fridge, she silently waited.
“Sorry about that.”
I moved the juice from the fridge to the side. However, Mafuyu didn’t take anything out of the fridge but kept staring at what was in my hand.
“What’s up?”
“That, is it Koharu-chan’s?”
“She gave it to me.”
“Really? You didn’t just take it randomly, right…?”
Mafuyu looked at me skeptically.
“Ah, Mafuyu-senpai. It’s true! It’s a thank-you for helping me with my homework.”
Koharu, who was relaxing in the living room just a wall away from the kitchen, spoke up in my defense.
“See? I told you she gave it to me.”
“Oh, I see. Sorry for weirdly suspecting you.”
Mafuyu apologized candidly and, while swaying a bit, looked my way, then took a drink from the fridge. After taking a sip, she cautiously glanced my way again.
“What is it? You seem like you have something to say.”
“You and Koharu-chan have a good relationship, don’t you?”
“Yeah, we get along pretty well.”
“That’s right~ Yuji-senpai and I have a super good relationship!!!”
Koharu seemed to agree as if she had heard the conversation, nodding in approval.
“Uh-huh.”
Mafuyu finished her drink like it was a beverage just taken out of the fridge. Yet, she seemed still thirsty, reaching for another bottle.
I sat down next to her, sipping on juice while starting to eat a dry sweet bread.
While I was chewing the bread, Koharu, who had been in the living room, came over to me.
“Yuji-senpai, I’m starving too. I couldn’t have breakfast because my sister didn’t wake up!”
“Are you saying you want to eat as well?”
“Eh~, I didn’t say that~. Just…”
Koharu’s eyes eagerly fixed on the juice pack in my hand, a gift from her.
Without saying, I knew. It was originally hers, so there’s no harm in sharing it with her, I thought.
“Really now. Just a sip, okay?”
“Yay! Then, I’ll help myself.”
Koharu took a bite of the knock-off brand bread.
Seeing her like this, Mafuyu watched us with a look of resentment.
“Huff~. Thanks for the hospitality. This does make one’s mouth dry.”
“Right?”
“Yeah~ Well, since it looks like my sister won’t wake up, I’ll go and wake her.”
“Waking her up just to make you breakfast seems a bit much.”
“No, no. She asked me to wake her if she overslept.”
Koharu went off to wake up Hiyori, who seemed to have overslept.
Left alone, I heard Mafuyu mutter under her breath.
“They’re too close…”
“It’s just how Koharu and I are.”
“That’s nice. To find someone better than me.”
“It’s not like that with Koharu…”
“Then, does she interact with everyone like that?”
“Not really.”
“Then that’s what it is.”
“I can’t just put it that way…”
I held my face, troubled about what to do, finding no answer.
Seeing me like this, Mafuyu sighed deeply, showing a kind smile.
“Sorry. I’m being difficult. Oh, maybe this will make it up?”
Mafuyu fetched a piece of chocolate from the kitchen shelf and handed it to me.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Still not good enough~. I mean…”
“Isn’t it the same for everyone?”
“Would you feel the same, Yuji… if you saw me being close with another guy?”
“…”
I would.
But I couldn’t say that.
I was afraid my lingering affection for Mafuyu would grow stronger, becoming uncontrollable.
“It’s hard to answer, isn’t it… Sorry, again.”
“Sorry.”
“So, how is it really with Koharu? Better than with me?”
“Don’t bite down on it… Koharu and I aren’t in the relationship you’re thinking of.”
“Hmm—? Since it’s not the relationship I think, then you must have helped Koharu with her homework earlier, right? Then, help me with my project.”
Mafuyu’s voice trembled, deliberately moving closer to me.
Our relationship had ended, and we hadn’t fought since. So, treating Mafuyu normally shouldn’t be a problem.
“I get it, I get it. It’s the same project I’ve seen before, right? I’ll help you with it.”
“Eh?”
“The reason I’m nice to Koharu isn’t that I want the relationship you’re thinking of. I’ll help Mafuyu as long as it clears any suspicion.”
“Really? Will you help me with the project?”
“Even though we’ve broken up, we’re not fighting. What’s up? Was asking for help just a joke?”
“No, it’s not like that…”
“To avoid letting others know we’re exes, let’s go to your room or mine.”
“My room doesn’t have a table. Let’s go to yours, Yuji.”
“Got it.”
And so, I was about to start helping Mafuyu with her project.
I got back to my room first and sat down in front of my small desk, laying out a cushion. Within three minutes, Mafuyu entered my room, carrying her laptop needed for the project.
“Excuse me… May I use the table?”
She placed her belongings on the desk.
Mafuyu, like me, took a cushion and sat down, starting to tap away on her laptop. I watched her as she worked. After a while, Mafuyu stopped and asked me.
“Does this make sense this way?”
In university, unlike middle and high school, you have to find your own answers. It’s about reflecting your own thoughts and seeking your own responses. I always lost to Mafuyu in studies during high school, but I was better at coming up with my own answers. So, I ended up teaching her.
“I think it should work.”
“I see.”
Mafuyu resumed typing. I went back to playing on my phone while watching her work.
The room was filled with the tapping sounds of the keyboard. Amidst this, I heard Mafuyu’s voice.
“Being this close, do you dislike it, Yuji?”
“If I did, I would’ve refused.”
“Then, I want you to help me like this in the future too. It’s not that I want to get back together. But, I do feel like I want to do something with Yuji… Is that not okay?”
Mafuyu said this without looking at me. We had parted amicably, both thinking that way.
Her words tempted me, further nurturing my lingering affection for Mafuyu.
Even though my mind said it’s not right, I couldn’t escape this temptation.
“If you say so, I can’t refuse.”
“Then, I’m counting on you.”
We agreed to work on the project together.
The room was quiet, with only the sound of typing. Occasionally, Mafuyu would ask something, and I would respond.
After repeating this several times, Mafuyu finished her project and closed her laptop.
“Thanks to Yuji, I made quick progress. As a thank-you, is there anything you want?”
“Hmm? No need for a thank-you gift…”
“Right… When we were living together, I never gave you anything in return for helping with my projects. I didn’t even thank you, which probably made you angry, right?”
“So what about it?”
“When I was your girlfriend, I thought it was natural for you, as my boyfriend, to help me. That’s why you got angry when you said, ‘At least thank me,’ right? And I just snapped back, ‘You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?’ Looking back, it’s laughable. I shouldn’t have taken it for granted.”
Mafuyu spoke of her past mistakes during cohabitation with a look of shame. It was too late for regrets now.
Her frank apology made my heart tighten.
To avoid the pain, I jokingly said to Mafuyu, who was shrinking her shoulders, “So, you’re saying you were too used to the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and took everything for granted?”
“Ahahaha…”
Mafuyu didn’t argue but laughed self-deprecatingly and nodded slightly.
She stopped smiling and looked at me with a gentle gaze.
“I’ve reflected on it. That’s why I want to properly thank you for helping me with the project. Is there something you want to do?”
“Even if you say that…”
Suddenly asked what I wanted to do, I had no ideas.
While I was deep in thought, I heard Mafuyu’s unsettled voice.
“Like, for example, getting back together with me?”
“You— What did you just say?”
“Sorry! I was just kidding. That’s not possible! Anyway, think about what you want as a thank-you. Thanks for helping with the project. Bye!”
Mafuyu hurriedly grabbed her laptop and left my room in a flurry, leaving these words behind before disappearing from my sight.
“That was just a joke… Don’t take it seriously, okay?”
◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇**
Mafuyu’s Side
“This is the worst…”
I felt self-loathing for my actions towards Yuji.
Hours had passed since he helped me with the project.
I approached him with lingering feelings, acting coquettishly as if we were still dating. Seeing Yuji and Koharu’s close relationship, I couldn’t bear it.
I needed to maintain a clear boundary, acting like “strangers who met in a shared house.”
I knew this, yet…
Why couldn’t I control my actions?
Could it be, could it be—
“It’s too late for regrets now.”
Approaching my ex-boyfriend with lingering feelings. I loathed myself for it, and amidst this, I heard the rain. When I closed my room window, I saw Yuji’s clothes had just dried.
“It’d be pitiful if they got wet. I’ll bring them in for him.”
Knowing Yuji wasn’t home, I reached out from my window and brought in his clothes.
Even though I didn’t have to, I meticulously folded them. My emotions and actions were contradictory, making me despise myself again.
“…Sigh. Even though it’s raining, I still have to buy dinner.”
Thinking of taking a walk to clear my mind, I walked to the convenience store in the drizzle with an umbrella.
“We’re having a promotion now. Please take a draw.”
You get a chance to draw for every purchase over 700 dollars. I took a draw from the box and showed it to the clerk.
“You’ve won! Let me help you redeem it~”
It seemed I won something. It was “alcohol,” a high-proof 9% drink. I hadn’t bought any alcohol, yet I won the alcohol draw. I wish it had been a regular draw… Oh well.
“Thank you for shopping~ Please come again~”
With the clerk’s words, I left the store.
Alcohol, huh… I can’t drink, and I don’t want to. Maybe I should give it to someone.
But after dinner, I remembered what a friend said.
“If something bad happens, escape with alcohol! Oh, the strong drinks are the best!” (Note: Refers to cheap, high-proof alcohol over 7%)
When I heard this, I scoffed. “Are you not drunk enough?”
Is it because you’re not drunk enough that you become frank? If you drink more, will you forget the unpleasant things and become happy?
This sudden thought made me keep the alcohol, originally meant as a gift. Although I had this idea, I had just gotten drunk not long ago.
“…But maybe I shouldn’t do this.”
Yet, when I recall painful memories… should I try it?
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After helping Mafuyu with her project, a quiet Saturday evening arrived. I was off to my tutoring job.
“This is it. Alright, that should be enough for today.”
The lesson was over.
I made sure all the students I taught had gone home.
After that, I should have put the teaching materials back on the shelf and completed the record sheet, but…
“Is there any other work to be done?”
“It’s rare for you to ask, Kaga-kun. But I do need help with scoring the exams. I’d appreciate it if you could do that.”
“Ah, sure, leave it to me.”
After finishing various tasks, it was already 10:20 PM when I left the tutoring center. Due to the rule that any work after 10 PM required overtime pay, the center insisted on clocking out by then.
So, technically, I worked for 20 minutes without pay… not exactly.
“The overtime pay today is 500 yen.”
I was immediately paid in cash, precisely corresponding to the overtime work.
Dealing with wages at part-time jobs can be complicated, so they handle it this way.
It’s a grey area, but there’s no need to stir up trouble.
“I’ll have dinner and then head back.”
Walking on the slightly damp ground after the rain, I stopped by a beef bowl restaurant for dinner. On my way back to the shared house, I saw Miss Hiyori and approached her.
“Miss Hiyori?”
“Ah, Kaga-kun, hello. Just finished work?”
“Yes, just heading back now. And you, Miss Hiyori?”
“Just picked up a few things.”
She showed me the plastic bag she was carrying. Heading to the same destination, we chatted on our way back to the shared house.
“I’m back~”
Miss Hiyori gave me a look that said, “Aren’t you going to announce your return?” So, I called out to the living room.
“I’m back.”
Then, I heard Koharu and Asakura-senpai’s voices from the living room.
“Welcome back, desu~”
“Welcome back.”
This felt a bit uncomfortable. I felt unexpectedly hurt, perhaps because of the painful memories of living with Mafuyu.
Simply saying “I’m back” used to be met with “Welcome home.” Mafuyu and I had that too.
Except on days we fought.
There were no responses when I said “I’m back,” and we avoided eye contact when we saw each other.
Suddenly, I worried if these memories might replay in the shared house. While taking off my shoes, I asked Miss Hiyori.
“What if the tenants have a fight and someone says ‘I’m back,’ but no one responds ‘Welcome back’?”
“It happens. But during a fight, people usually avoid the common areas and even seeing each other. So, it’s not something to worry about.”
“I see.”
I had thought living together would make things awkward in such situations. But it’s different here; everyone has their own room.
During a fight, you can lock yourself in your room, avoiding others until the awkwardness fades.
With Mafuyu, in a single-room living situation, the only option to avoid seeing each other was not to come home.
One room per person. Would things have been different with Mafuyu?
No, no, that’s wrong. A lover and a roommate are entirely different.
With a lover, even if you fight in the same room, you can make up normally.
Darn, why am I reminiscing?
“Hah…”
Was it recalling my past with Mafuyu, or just tiredness? Not sure which to blame, I sighed deeply.
After washing my hands, I greeted Koharu and Asakura-senpai in the living room and went to my room.
“A message from Mafuyu?”
After returning to my room, I immediately received a text from Mafuyu, who lived next door.
“Can I come over for a bit?”
After checking the message, I heard Mafuyu’s footsteps approaching.
“Open the door, will you?”
“Hm? Sure, I guess.”
Opening the door, I saw Mafuyu standing there with neatly folded clothes.
“These clothes are?”
“Yours. You forgot to bring them in before going to work, right?”
“Ah, yeah. It rained earlier, didn’t it? Did you bring them in for me?”
“That’s right, here.”
I took the neatly folded clothes, reminiscent of how Mafuyu was after I helped her with her project.
“Thanks. Not only did you bring them in, but you also folded them.”
“…I remember you saying there’s no need for thanks before.”
“I’m returning your words. It’d be strange not to thank you properly.”
I had also deeply reflected, and every conversation with Koharu made it clearer. No matter how small, one should never forget to thank or ignore the feelings of others.
Koharu’s likability, despite being casual, lies in her proper gratitude and attention to others’ feelings in any situation.
Mafuyu also mentioned being too accustomed to the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, taking things for granted.
I was the same.
I had completely forgotten to be considerate of others, something Koharu excelled at.
“Yuji, you’ve reflected on this too, huh?”
“Sort of.”
“Is that so? Well, in that case…”
Mafuyu, who handed me the clothes, walked away from my room. I started playing with my phone as if nothing had happened, and twenty minutes passed.
Suddenly, Mafuyu barged into my room.
“At least knock before entering.”
While I complained about her sudden intrusion, Mafuyu said,
“Sorry, sorry. It was too much trouble to knock.”
She apologized and walked towards me, then suddenly hugged me tightly.
“What’s going on!?”
I was completely confused.
I gently pulled away Mafuyu, who was burying her face in me, and noticed her flushed face and the smell of alcohol on her breath.
“Did you drink again?”
“Yeah. Drank to forget something unpleasant. But instead, it made me feel even worse… So, I came to apologize to Yuji for various things.”
“Oh, oh…”
Listening to my more candid-than-usual ex-girlfriend apologizing, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of longing.
Can Mafuyu and I really never start over again?
As I watched the current Mafuyu, I kept thinking, can we really not make a fresh start? Mafuyu, oblivious to my feelings, continued to mutter to me.
“I always thought I could have a good relationship with Yuji for life. It’s so disheartening to have it end.”
Despite what Koharu has told me several times, the old me was a gloomy otaku. In contrast, Mafuyu, a social butterfly, was part of the elite class in our class, and we seemed destined never to cross paths.
Mafuyu, unkindly hugging me and speaking, was flawlessly beautiful.
Comforting my ex-girlfriend, who buried her nose in me and held me tight, we just repeated our monotonous conversation.
Was it because I still had the capacity to think of something else? That’s when I remembered how my relationship with Mafuyu Himuro began to improve.
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—During the autumn of my first year in high school.
After school.
The indifferent guys who were supposed to clean with me had left me to deal with the trash while they went to their club activities.
I was preparing to head home from the classroom amidst a desolate atmosphere.
“Ouch!”
I tripped accidentally, losing my balance and falling toward classmate Himuro’s desk. The desk toppled over, spilling its contents.
As I picked up the scattered items to put them back in the drawer, feeling guilty for the mess, I noticed something.
“Hmm?”
A bunkobon with a book cover.
A book read by Himuro, the top echelon popular beauty of our class. Suddenly curious, I felt an urge to peek inside. However, I knew that looking through someone else’s belongings was distasteful.
As I was about to put the book back in the drawer, someone approached me from the front of the classroom.
“Did you see it?”
Those pristine eyes looking at me belonged to Mafuyu Himuro.
Overwhelmed by the most beautiful and adorable girl in class, I replied tremblingly.
“No, I didn’t look.”
“It’s better not to lie. What can I do to make sure you won’t tell anyone?”
“Not tell? What do you mean?”
“Please, don’t tell anyone that I read that book.”
Himuro clutched her uniform’s skirt tightly, pleading with me.
I held my breath. She didn’t want anyone to know she read that book? What was she reading? Although I didn’t see the content, she seemed to misunderstand that I had.
This was the typical “if you don’t want your secret known…” scenario, but as a person, I wouldn’t tell anyone.
I clarified the misunderstanding by telling her the truth.
“I didn’t see the contents of the book. In fact, I’d like to ask you about it.”
“Really? You didn’t look?”
“Yeah, I really didn’t.”
“That’s good then. Sorry, I wrongly suspected you.”
“I’m the one who should apologize for accidentally knocking over your desk.”
Apologizing for the commotion I caused by knocking over her desk, Himuro calmed down from her initial assertiveness and bent down to help me gather the scattered items.
As we silently picked up the items, feeling slightly awkward, I reassured her.
“Don’t worry. I really just bumped into the book.”
“I realized you hadn’t seen it from the atmosphere. I just panicked, thinking what if you had. I’m sorry for doubting you.”
“Just so you know, I didn’t intentionally knock over your desk.”
“I know. I saw you trip in the hallway and rushed over. I’m relieved you’re okay.”
“By the way, even if I knew your secret, it wouldn’t mean anything.”
“True, even if you told others, they might not believe it… maybe that’s what they call ‘unnecessary anxiety.'”
“Oh, wow.”
“Ah, maybe that was a bit harsh?”
“Don’t worry, I was just being self-deprecating. Shouldn’t you quickly put that bunkobon away? It seems you came back for it, right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Himuro was about to put the bunkobon, which she thought I had seen, back into her bag.
But she fumbled, and the book fell to the floor.
The book, which she didn’t want me to know about, fell mercilessly to the ground. The book cover came loose due to the fall, revealing its contents.
“Transcending to a God After Being Unemployed?”
I blurted out the title of the book that was revealed.
“This is bad…”
Himuro turned pale and froze in place. The content of the bunkobon she didn’t want anyone to know was the popular light novel “Transcending to a God After Being Unemployed,” which had just started as an anime.
“So that’s how it is…”
Is that why she didn’t want anyone to know? Even I could easily guess that.
“You didn’t expect me to read such a book, did you?”
Yes, Himuro was a socialite. In other words, a member of the outgoing group, opposite to the otaku like me.
“Indeed. If the people in Himuro’s group found out, they’d probably mock you.”
Being far from otaku culture like light novels and games, Himuro, part of the social group, reading light novels was unimaginable to anyone.
“Yeah… That’s why I wanted to keep it a secret. But now it’s exposed…”
Himuro’s expression grew dim.
Indeed, if it got out, she’d likely be ostracized with comments like, “Wow, Himuro likes light novels? That’s not really cool~.”
So I deeply understood why Mafuyu had approached me with such an intense question, “Did you see it?”
While I was lost in deep thought, Mafuyu suddenly bowed her head towards me.
“Please, I beg you, don’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything you ask!”
“Like I said before, even if I tell others about Mafuyu reading light novels, no one would believe me.”
“Even so…”
Even then, she still looked worried and uneasy. Indeed, it’s understandable to be anxious about the possibility of her carefully built relationships crumbling because of this revelation.
It would be pitiful if she, an otaku, were rejected by her socialite group, especially since one of her friends particularly detests otaku culture.
If that person found out, Mafuyu could face harsh treatment. After all, she’s always maintained that there are no otakus in her social circle.
I had no intention of revealing Mafuyu’s interest in “Transcending to a God After Being Unemployed,” a light novel considered a ‘reincarnation power fantasy.’ But even after reassuring her, Mafuyu still seemed uneasy.
“Would it make you feel more secure if you had something on me?”
“Eh?”
“I mean, to ensure I don’t spill your secret, would having some leverage over me help?”
“Wouldn’t that be disadvantageous for you? Is that okay?”
“You’re worried about whether I’ll tell, right? Okay, if I ever reveal your secret about reading light novels, you can show this to everyone.”
I took out my phone. As classmates, I had Mafuyu’s contact info.
I sent her a message that could serve as leverage against me.
“I like you. Please go out with me.”
Mafuyu, seeing the message, immediately responded.
“Eh? What does this mean? Anyway, as a response – sorry, I can’t.”
Of course, I knew.
“This, this isn’t a confession. If I ever talk about your light novel reading, use this.”
“What do you mean?”
“If I spread rumors about you reading light novels, you can show this message to others, saying, ‘He was just upset because I rejected his confession.’ This way, even if I tell others, they won’t believe it.”
“Is it really okay for you to trust me this much? This message could be more damaging to you than my secret.”
“Ah…”
Suddenly regretting my impulsive action, I realized this was indeed more detrimental to me.
With my low status in the class and few friends, I couldn’t afford to worsen my situation. What would happen if this message I sent to Mafuyu got out to my classmates?
While feeling anxious and worried, I bravely reassured Mafuyu.
“Mafuyu doesn’t seem like someone who would do that. After all, even within the social group, I’ve never heard you speak ill of people who like light novels or manga.”
“Really? Thank you. I understand, don’t worry. As long as you… no, as long as Kaga-kun doesn’t reveal my secret, I won’t show this message to anyone. I’m the one who put you in this situation… sorry for the trouble.”
Mafuyu, a part of the socialite group, was direct and genuine in her speech.
It was just a small shared secret, and Mafuyu and I continued our different daily lives as if nothing had happened…
That’s what I thought.
After school, as usual, I was alone again after disposing of the garbage.
Suddenly, Mafuyu appeared beside me.
“You didn’t tell anyone about my secret, did you?”
“I didn’t.”
Mafuyu, the center of attention in class, and I, a shy otaku with a few friends, lived in different worlds. My words hardly carried any weight.
I had sent a confession-like message to Mafuyu, ensuring that even if I revealed her secret about light novels, it would be dismissed as a lie.
No longer having any reason to worry, Mafuyu still cautiously approached me after school to remind me.
“I suppose that’s good…”
“By the way, the anime based on that light novel you were reading starts airing today.”
After confirming no one was around, I casually mentioned the anime adaptation of the light novel Mafuyu was reading.
“I can’t watch it on the local TV station that broadcasts it first. I plan to watch it on online streaming a week later. But Kaga-kun, you can watch it on the local station, right?”
“Why do you know that?”
“I… I overheard you talking about it in class with your friends.”
“If you want, I can record it on DVD for you. That way, you can watch it earlier than waiting for the online stream. You like that series, right?”
“Can you do that!?”
Mafuyu was surprised and seemed very interested.
Of course, she would want to watch an anime adaptation of a book she enjoyed reading.
Was she not just approaching me to remind me about keeping her secret, but actually… for this purpose?
“Mafuyu, unexpectedly indirect?”
“Yes. It’s embarrassing to ask for a favor when we’re not that close.”
That makes sense. Kind of cute, in a way.
Her indirectness was childlike.
She wasn’t just reminding me not to tell her secret but wanted me to record the anime airing today. I declared to Mafuyu, who looked a bit worried.
“I understand. I’ll make sure to record the DVD for you.”
My relationship with Mafuyu began with “a light novel.”
This will surely be something I’ll never forget.
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“Sigh… finally free.”
After calming Mafuyu down from her continuous apologies, I left her in the adjacent room and descended to the first floor. Passing through the living room a little after midnight, I took a drink from the fridge. Holding the plastic bottle, I was ready to head back to my room.
“Hey, Kaga-kun.”
“Ah, hello.”
I encountered Asakura-senpai, drying his hair and walking towards me. Maybe because he had just showered, his face seemed a bit different than usual.
“You look exhausted.”
“Ah, yeah, a lot happened. Do you always stay up this late, Asakura-senpai?”
“I think that’s typical for university students.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
Staying up late is a favorite pastime of university students. University schedules vary daily, with classes sometimes starting late.
“It’s okay to stay up late if tomorrow’s class is late.”
Before I knew it, I had become a night owl… I often heard people say that.
“Alright then, I’m heading to my room.”
“Okay.”
Before leaving, I suddenly stopped Asakura-senpai.
“Do you want to have a drink?”
Due to Mafuyu, my emotions were all over the place, and I felt the need to talk to someone to forget it all. I invited him to join me for a drink.
“Miss Hiyori said the leftover drinks from my welcome party were a gift, so I have some.”
“Sure, I can do that.”
“Really? Okay.”
To my surprise, he agreed right away.
“I don’t have to get up early tomorrow anyway. And if I hated socializing, I wouldn’t be living here. But maybe I should pass.”
“Huh?”
Asakura-senpai’s gaze was fixed on Koharu, who was sleeping in the living room under a blanket, defenselessly.
“Koharu is really close to you, Kaga-kun. You trust her not to play pranks on you, right?”
“Speaking of which, Asakura-senpai, you are also…”
“Indeed, her pranks aren’t limited to just boys. I appreciate your invitation for a drink, but let’s do it another time.”
“Actually, we can drink in my room too. There’s nothing there that would be embarrassing if someone saw.”
“…Hmm, you’re quite bold. Well, okay. I often hear from Koharu that Kaga-kun isn’t a bad guy. So, I’ll take you up on your offer and visit your room.”
With the intention of having a drink with Asakura-senpai, I carried glasses with ice and the leftover drinks from the welcome party to my room.
We casually sat down and started drinking, accompanied by some simple snacks.
“Sigh. So, can you tell me why you particularly wanted to invite me for a drink?”
Asakura-senpai, holding her glass perfectly, asked me with a smile.
Although hesitant to talk about Mafuyu, I really wanted to vent my frustrations to someone else.
…Well, if I mix in some lies and jokes, I won’t reveal too much.
“Ah, I’m troubled by lingering feelings for an ex-girlfriend.”
“So, you invited me for a drink to distract yourself from that frustration. Why can’t you let go of her, Kaga-kun?”
“Ah—”
I bought time to fabricate a lie.
After a brief pause, I answered Asakura-senpai.
“It’s like this. The relationship ended ambiguously, not because we grew tired of each other.”
“That can indeed leave lingering feelings…”
“That’s right. It’s like she’s contacting me now after all this time.”
It was a complete fabrication, but it closely resembled our situation, so it didn’t matter.
“Contacting you? Does she want to get back together?”
“No, she said it’s not about getting back together.”
“I see.”
I continued to vent to Asakura-senpai, who was an excellent listener.
Thinking it was a bit much to keep talking about myself, I asked Asakura-senpai a question.
“How many girls have you dated, Asakura-senpai?”
“Ahahaha, me? No matter how popular I am with girls, it’s not that easy to start dating.”
Perhaps due to the alcohol, Asakura-senpai answered cheerfully.
That made sense. Popularity doesn’t necessarily translate to easy relationships.
“So, it’s not that simple to start dating?”
“That’s right. No matter what, I don’t have the resolve to date a girl. I can’t handle it.”
“Why do you say that, as if you’ve never dated?”
“I haven’t dated anyone. I told you before, I’ve never had a girlfriend. You’re asking me this because you feel bad about talking about yourself, right? But today’s a special treat. I’ll listen to Kaga-kun until the end.”
“Is that okay?”
“It’s fine. Since your lingering feelings haven’t faded, I think the solution is surprisingly simple. You’ve probably thought of it already, right?”
“You mean…”
“Seek new encounters. You moved here to change your mood because you couldn’t shake off those feelings, right? In that case, this situation makes sense. Koharu is quite close to you. You’re also getting along better with Hiyori. And with Mafuyu… Well, I think you can still talk normally as it is.”
“Well, Koharu is like a little sister to me…”
“In that case, what about Hiyori? Maybe she’s unexpectedly looking for a boyfriend, so it might be easy?”
“I think it’s difficult. Even though I’ve tried to improve my appearance, my heart is still the same.”
“Then, Mafuyu… Probably not, right? I feel like you two are a good match, but there’s a subtle distance between you. So, next is… me?”
Asakura-senpai fell silent after this statement and looked straight into my eyes.
Could it be? Despite being popular, he has never had a girlfriend because…
He… considers men as romantic partners?!
No, no, that’s not it. While such things are becoming more common nowadays, and I’m not against it, it’s different when it happens to oneself…
“Ahahaha, I guess even I’m not an option, huh?”
“Ah, I’m sorry, it just feels a bit awkward.”
I apologized verbally but felt relieved internally.
“But, well, I think it’s good to occasionally force yourself to gain new experiences and encounters. Now’s a good time. I should be going. The glass…”
“I invited you for a drink, so let me clean up.”
“Thanks for that. I had a great time today, let’s drink together again.”
“Sure. I’ll count on you next time.”
After Asakura-senpai left, I cleaned up the glasses we used for drinking.
Thanks to the late hour, sleep overcame me quickly. I didn’t lie awake troubled by worries; instead, I lost consciousness the moment I hit the bed.