▣ KO-FI ▣ DISCORD ▣
Volume 1, Chapter 3: Still In Love
After returning from the convenience store, I greeted Koharu-chan, who was still idly rolling around on the sofa, as I put various items I’d bought into the refrigerator.
“I brought back the ice cream, it’s slightly melted so I put it in the fridge.”
“Thanks! Oh, and it’d be great if you could write my name on it.”
“To keep others from eating it?”
“Mostly, yeah. My sister will nag if it’s not labeled.”
“Got it, I’ll do that too.”
I imagined how seriously Hiroyo-san would take unlabeled food, constantly asking whose it was. The thought made me smile a little.
Seeing my smile, Koharu-chan teased me.
“Ah, Yuji-senpai, you’re thinking my sister is a bit annoying, right? I should report this to her!”
“Stop it!”
“Just kidding, can’t take it seriously, okay?”
“Koharu-chan, you’re really nice.”
“Right? You’d think that too, right? I think so too.”
Just then, Mafuyu, who had left earlier to avoid being seen with me, returned.
“Ah, welcome back, Mafuyu-senpai. Though I said I didn’t want anything when you asked before going to the convenience store, I suddenly craved ice cream, so I asked Yuji-senpai.”
Koharu-chan was surprisingly whimsical. Mafuyu, still not used to her, said something odd.
“Yuji-senpai? That’s surprisingly intimate.”
“That’s right~ I think Yuji-senpai is kinda stylish, is that flattery~? Just kidding.”
“Really? I don’t think Kaga-kun’s style is stylish at all.”
Which mouth said they liked my face the most before we broke up? And about my style not being good now, you’re the last one to talk. My clothes and hairstyle reflect your tastes.
“Um, Mafuyu-san, I think it’s not nice to say that to someone you’ve just met.”
“Well, it can’t be helped.”
I responded to her provocation, hoping to retaliate.
“So, Mafuyu-san, what type of person do you like?”
“Ah, that’s right~ When I asked Mafuyu-senpai what type she likes, you changed the subject. Tell me~”
Koharu was interested and got excited about the topic.
Mafuyu, looking like she wanted to escape but knowing it would make things awkward, stayed. After all, the share house, as mentioned in the documents, values interaction. It seems Hiroyo-san likes cheerful things, hence the decision.
Even though we decided to hide our past relationship and act as strangers, the fact that this place values interaction is important.
You understand, right? Showing bad feelings is not allowed.
I gave her a teasing look to dissuade her from running away, and the result…
Mafuyu pulled out her phone, holding it up for me and Koharu to see.
“Someone like this.”
“This actor is really handsome~ Eh, but this person, he kinda looks like Yuji-senpai… doesn’t he…?”
“Hey, hey, it’s rude. Comparing me to such a handsome guy, we’re nothing alike.”
“Eh~ but even the facial contours are the same. Ah, Mafuyu-senpai is nervous because Yuji-senpai looks like the actor she likes, so she said he doesn’t look good. Really, such a tsundere~ You, you~”
“Ahahaha…”
Mafuyu laughed awkwardly, realizing she had blundered.
For a moment, she showed us a photo of the handsome actor she liked, who resembled me.
Well, it’s like that.
After all, when we first started dating, you told me my appearance surprisingly matched your taste.
I kept smiling at Mafuyu, challenging her, and she sternly pressured me silently.
“What’s the matter, Mafuyu-san?”
“Nothing. I’m going back to my room now. Oh, Koharu-chan, Kaga-kun is quite a silent pervert.”
Before I could complain about her saying nonsense, she left.
“Yuji-senpai, are you a silent pervert?”
“No, listen, the one who calls others a silent pervert is the real silent pervert.”
“By the way, let me give you the money for the ice cream now, is 200 yen enough?”
Koharu-chan ignored my words.
Although you might not believe it, in reality, Mafuyu is the real silent predator.
Next, about the money for the ice cream…
“I took the juice you gave me before, so let me treat you this time. After all, it’s not good to always take without giving.”
“Success! This is Koharu-chan’s way of saving! Strike first to win. As long as I’m kind to my senior, he has to be kind to me. Hehe, Yuji-senpai, you’re still a bit naive.”
Koharu-chan, smiling cunningly, really has an interesting personality.
“Well, I’m going back to my room too, I haven’t finished unpacking from the move.”
“Okay~~, ah, can I help you?”
“I appreciate it, but no need. If I let you help, I’d have to return the favor later, right?”
“Ahahaha, that’s right, Koharu-chan’s kindness comes with a price, don’t forget~”
As I left the living room to tidy up my room, Mafuyu, who seemed to have forgotten to put the stuff she bought from the convenience store into the fridge, returned.
“Ah, forgot to put it in?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Mafuyu-senpai! I still want to know what kind of person Mafuyu-senpai likes~, knowing that you like handsome male actors piqued my interest. I want to know what kind of person someone beautiful and cute likes.”
Anyway, being incessantly questioned by Koharu-chan about her preference in the opposite sex, Mafuyu showed a troubled expression and began to speak.
Hehe, serves you right. This is your punishment for saying I’m a silent predator to Koharu-chan.
******
I returned to my room and started unpacking my things, and about ten minutes later, I suddenly heard Mafuyu’s complaints.
“What was that about just now? Because of you, I got bombarded with questions by Koharu-chan.”
“Ah? Weren’t you the one who provoked me first?”
“Huh? I was just stating facts. You’re the one who stirred things up unnecessarily, don’t get it twisted.”
“But it was you who brought up the past openly.”
“I told you that’s not it!”
“What’s going on then?”
Our conversation was like two parallel lines.
Just when it felt like we were about to argue, Mafuyu, looking angry, said to me,
“Sorry! Okay, I apologized, now you apologize, Yuji!”
“That’s so sudden…”
Her sudden apology left me puzzled.
And instead of casually calling me Kaga-kun, she called me Yuji?
“I don’t want to argue with Yuji, nor do I want to provoke your anger. I just… want to get along well with you. Because… there was no cheating, I couldn’t possibly dislike you…”
Mafuyu was fidgeting and looking at my face.
Indeed our relationship as lovers had ended, but not everything in human relationships could be completely finished.
Despite this, I…
“Sorry, I went a bit overboard with my weird attitude.”
“Um…”
To break the awkward atmosphere, I joked,
“Even if you said you liked me, it would be troubling.”
“Who would be smitten by you! Tastes change, that’s life.”
Just then, I received a text from Koharu, whom I thought wouldn’t have my contact information yet.
Did Hiyori tell her? I opened the received text.
“Please take care of me~su”
Following the short message was a long text.
“I found out who Mafuyu-senpai likes! Listen to this, Mafuyu-senpai seems to like the person who took care of her meticulously when she had a cold. Even now, after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend for being that kind of person, she still can’t forget about that incident!”
“What’s wrong? You suddenly look so happy.”
“Did your preferences change… do you still like me?”
“Wait… Ahhhh!! Koharu-chan?”
Seeing the screen of the phone I was holding, Mafuyu screamed in surprise.
“For causing me so many misunderstandings, I can’t like you at all! 200%, super dislike!”
“Ah, I see.”
I smiled as I watched Mafuyu leave.
For a moment, the thought of reconciling with her and returning to our previous relationship crossed my mind.
But that’s impossible.
The failure of our cohabitation made me realize that a relationship beyond lovers was not possible for us.
Continuing such a relationship with no future was meaningless. We can’t go back to being lovers. No, we shouldn’t go back.
The unexpected reunion, the disappearance of reasons for hostility. I must have been clouded by these events, unable to make a rational decision.
“Haah… Why did I have to meet her again?”
I reached for the unpacked boxes.
Right now, all I needed was to find a new place to move out. There were, however, expenses like moving company fees to consider.
In my now quiet room, suddenly there was a creak of the door.
Mafuyu’s voice came through the slightly open door.
“I’ll be angry if you move out without telling me.”
“Why?”
“I was at fault too, so when you feel too uncomfortable to stay, please tell me properly. I can help with moving out or cover the expenses for moving in. There’s a lot I can do.”
“I understand. If I decide to move out, I’ll tell you. But why bring this up now?”
“You’re being too strong about it, just saying… If you let it bother you, it will affect things later. Well, goodbye, I’m going back.”
Back in the silence of my room, I scratched my head and muttered softly.
“After all this time, don’t be so kind to me…”
Being treated kindly by the one I still have feelings for only adds another layer to my emotions.
*****
When I came to my senses, it was completely dark outside. Though I hadn’t finished unpacking, it was time to stop.
After all, I didn’t have enough shelves, and there was nowhere to put things even if I unpacked them.
I sighed and someone knocked on my door.
“Kaga-kun, the welcome party is about to start, do you have a moment?” (Hiroyo refers to the protagonist as Kaga-kun here)
It was Hiroyo-san.
The share house I moved into was described in the documents as valuing interaction.
Hiroyo-san, both the owner and the manager, seemed like someone who would actively organize events. My move-in was also turned into an event, a welcome party.
“Ah, sure, I’ll be right there.”
“We’ll be waiting for you in the living room then.”
After Hiroyo-san left, I quickly headed to the communal space on the first floor.
The dining environment was luxurious, with a low, long table in the living room for gathering and relaxing, in addition to a dining table in the kitchen.
The residents of the share house, including Mafuyi, were gathered around the table.
Once everyone was present, Hiroyo-san pointed to the drinks and led a toast.
“Let’s start celebrating Kaga-kun’s arrival. There are drinks to grab, I’ve prepared beer, canned shochu, and juice. Pick whatever you like. And of course, it’s on me today.”
I picked a beer from the table. I was 20 since April, so no issues there.
Everyone else also chose their drinks.
Hiroyo-san had canned shochu, Asakura-senpai took a beer, and Koharu-chan grabbed juice.
Mafuyu also chose juice.
Mafuyu, now of age like me, controlled her drinking because she becomes too straightforward when drunk, spouting all sorts of things, so probably the same today.
Why do I know? Because she’s an ex-girlfriend.
“Well then, everyone, cheers.”
“Cheers!”
Hiroyo-san’s cheer marked the start of my welcome party.
After the toast, I took a gulp of beer, moistening my throat. Then, Asakura-senpai, sitting next to me, cheerfully started a conversation.
“Hey, Kaga-kun, long time no see. I’ll be counting on you from now on.”
“Please take good care of me.”
“Let me reintroduce myself. I’m Ryuga Asakura, a junior in college, fond of watching sports and English, working part-time with college friends, and currently single.”
“Is that so? Asakura-senpai, you seem quite popular, it’s surprising you don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Surprising, is it?”
“Ah, but it’s just that you don’t have one now. You’ve had girlfriends before, right?”
“Ahahaha… Maybe, maybe not.”
Asakura-senpai responded with a wry smile.
Though I felt he was popular among girls and must have had past girlfriends, directly asking seemed a bit much, so I steered the conversation towards myself.
“Once again, I’m Yuji Kaga, a sophomore in college, as you can see, already of legal age. So please do invite me for drinks sometime, and maybe then you could teach me the secrets to being popular with girls. By the way, though I’ve had a girlfriend, I’m currently single.”
“Secrets to being popular with girls, huh… I’ll teach you when I feel like it. By the way, you mentioned coming here to cut ties with lingering feelings for an ex-girlfriend. Have you met anyone new?”
“No, I don’t really feel that way. After all, I’m just here to forget about those lingering feelings. Seeking new encounters is just incidental, so don’t mind it.”
“I see. Oh, right, Mafuyu-chan moved in here for the same reason, ‘to forget about her ex-boyfriend and seek new encounters.’ Maybe you two will get along well?”
“No, we won’t.”
Mafuyu, who had been eavesdropping on our conversation from a distance, joined in, and our voices overlapped.
Feeling slightly embarrassed, we exchanged fiery glances.
“Actually, I think you two are quite suited for each other.”
Was it because we said the same thing at the same time? Asakura-senpai lightly laughed at us.
Worse still, Koharu-chan nodded in agreement.
“They were also awkwardly talking in the kitchen. It seemed kind of enjoyable to watch.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, that’s how I saw it. By the way, I was a bit curious and overheard your conversation, Yuji-senpai. You had a girlfriend? I’m really curious!”
“Just a normal relationship before.”
“Lies, right? No, no, Yuji-senpai, even the girl-popular Ryuga-senpai said so, no need to pretend.”
“I told you, I’m not pretending.”
“Then, show me some proof, right? Even if you’ve broken up, you must have kept something from your ex-girlfriend!”
“No, I didn’t keep anything, no, I deleted everything.”
Showing her proof would instantly reveal that Mafuyu and I were once a couple.
As I was sweating bullets, Koharu-chan didn’t stop her pursuit.
“See~ no evidence means you’re lying. Yuji-senpai, you may dress well but you’re an introverted otaku, just admit you never had a girlfriend, okay? Ouch, sis, don’t suddenly hit my head!”
Koharu-chan teased me in a joking manner.
Hiroyo-san gave her an over-enthusiastic head pat and apologized to me.
“Sorry for my impolite sister.”
“No worries, I’m quite enjoying this. And like Koharu-chan said, I’m closer to being an introverted otaku, I think so myself.”
“Is that so? Such a level of physical contact is just trivial between Yuji-senpai and me.”
In a playful mood, Hiyori-san noticed that Mafuyu and I weren’t talking much and forcefully brought Mafuyu into the conversation.
“Speaking of which, Mafuyu-chan and Kaga-kun attend the same university, right?”
“How did you know that?”
“Well, I am the owner and manager here, so I’m aware of the residents’ information.”
“Eh~ Is that so? I didn’t realize that I’m attending the same university as Himuro-san, that’s surprising.”
To play the part of strangers meeting here, I pretended not to know and acted dumb.
Following my lead, Mafuyu showed off acting skills worthy of a top actress.
“Oh, is that so?”
“Ah, somehow you two don’t seem very surprised. As the saying goes, having friends means you have no fear wherever you go. If you’re in the same university, you can do things like sharing notes for courses. Well, since you’re in different faculties, there might not be many common courses. By the way, how did you two choose your current universities? I’d love to hear if you don’t mind.”
To Hiyori-san, I explained the reasons why I chose my current university.
It all started back in the spring of my third year in high school.
******
— Spring of Senior Year in High School —
After the career consultation session, I stepped out of the classroom and immediately heard Mafuyu, who was waiting for me in the corridor, calling me.
“Is it over?”
“Yeah, ah, it’s over. They gave me a list of universities I could get into based on my grades.”
I said this, looking at the booklet given by the homeroom teacher.
It contained introductions to various universities, and I focused on the ones within my academic reach.
“Shall we go home then?”
“Speaking of which, it would have been bad if you were seen waiting for me, yet you still waited.”
“I feel like we’ve had less time together recently. It’s just for today, so it should be fine, right?”
“Well, that’s one way to see it. No point worrying too much about this.”
Mafuyu and I, who had been waiting for my career consultation to end, walked home together in a relaxed manner.
“Do you have a university you want to attend, Mafuyu?”
“Not really. But there’s a field I want to study—I want to study sociology.”
“I feel the same. Although it’s still a bit vague, I’m thinking about economics or business management, looking for universities within my academic reach.”
“So, Yuji, are you saying you want to go to the same university as me?”
Mafuyu giggled, looking at me. With Mafuyu looking at me like that, she could easily read my thoughts.
I turned my head away to avoid showing my face.
“Is there a problem with that?”
“Hmm~, no problem. How about this, even though our majors are different, let’s aim for the same university?”
Is there really no need to accommodate me?”
There’s a gap between our academic performances.
That’s why I couldn’t say something like attending the same university.
Fuyuki’s brain is better than mine; there’s no need for her to accommodate my academic level.
“What are you talking about? It’s Yuushi who’s accommodating me, right? If we both apply, we can take the exams as many times as needed, right?” (Note: Applying to multiple schools or programs simultaneously.)
“Eh? No, no, my grades aren’t good enough to get into a university of the same caliber as yours.”
“Don’t you want to go to the same university as me?”
“Of course, I do, if I could…”
“Then it’s possible. Here, give me your finger, let’s pinky swear. If you lie, you’ll have to swallow a thousand needles~. Promise made.”
She casually made me pinky swear.
And then, to get into the same university as Fuyuki, a grueling period began.
————End of flashback.
Ah, what is this, I’m dying of embarrassment? I wish I could just die.
I had promised her that we’d go to the same university, and now I ended up in the current one?
Damn it, damn it, damn it! How could I possibly say such a thing in front of her!
Feeling a chill down my spine, I blatantly lied.
“Ah, I just chose an economics department in a university that suited my academic abilities, that’s all.”
“Pfft. Is that so?”
Fuyuki covered her mouth with her hand, unable to suppress her laughter.
Choosing a university that suited my grades was a complete lie. I had worked to death to keep up with Fuyuki’s grades, and she knew it.
“By the way, Fuyuki-chan, why did you choose your current university?”
“I simply chose it because it matched my grades. Unlike someone here, I didn’t push myself too hard.”
“So, it’s just like that, choosing a university and all.”
Hiyori-san chugged the rest of the drink in her can and opened another one.
The topic of universities seemed to wind down.
Seeing Fuyuki trying hard not to laugh, I retorted somewhat embarrassedly.
“Hey, Fuyuki-san, don’t you drink?”
“I don’t really like drinking, though it’s not like I can’t.”
“Is that so, is that so, you don’t like it…”
“Yeah, I don’t like it.”
“Not because you turn into a different person when you’re drunk, but because you don’t like it…”
“Drunk, me? No way, I don’t turn into a different person.”
I know that Mafuyu, who was holding back her laughter just a moment ago, becomes a different person once she drinks alcohol. Just one glass of sake is enough to make her candid and clingy, speaking her mind without restraint.
Strangely, she never speaks ill of others, perhaps because she’s in control. She’s not averse to drinking; in fact, she quite likes it, but she abstains because she’s embarrassed by her drunken behavior. And she’s quite self-conscious about her low tolerance for alcohol, though she never shows it.
Her reluctance must be frustrating for her, I thought, as I reached for some grilled pork on the table.
Mafuyu, with a slight smile, pushed a cherry tomato towards my mouth.
“Don’t just focus on the meat, eat some vegetables too,” she said.
Her gesture wasn’t out of kindness. She knew I disliked cherry tomatoes and was deliberately teasing me. Having no choice as the tomato touched my lips, I begrudgingly ate the displeasing fruit.
“Thanks for caring about my health,” I said with a slight tone of distaste.
Hearing this, Mafuyu grabbed a can of sake and asked me, “Hmm, I feel like drinking a bit, can I?”
“You just said it’s not a physical inability to drink. If Himuro-san wants to drink, go ahead,” I replied.
“By the way, if I get drunk, Kaga-kun, you’ll take responsibility, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll take responsibility. Drink as much as you like,” I responded casually.
Two hours into my welcome party.
Most of the prepared dishes were nearly finished, and the sake container was almost empty. Hiyori-san, Asakura-senpai, and I were all slightly tipsy.
But there was one exception – ah, excluding Koharu-chan, of course.
“You know~, you should have told me earlier about moving here. Hey~, are you listening?”
Mafuyu shook my shoulder repeatedly.
I had carelessly promised to take responsibility if she got drunk, and this was the result.
“You’re drunk. Is this why you said you don’t like drinking, Mafuyu-chan?”
“I’m not drunk! I want to drink more! I love drinking the most!”
Realizing that she said she disliked alcohol to protect herself from such situations, Hiyori-san chuckled bitterly. As Mafuyu’s drunkenness intensified, everyone gradually came to the same conclusion.
“Indeed.”
“I think so too. It can’t go on like this…”
“I agree~, although it seems fun, if we let this continue, she’ll wake up tomorrow wishing she were dead.”
It was unanimously decided to send her back to her room. However, Mafuyu was the only one who didn’t want to give up.
“Why! Don’t leave me out!”
Mafuyu pouted at us, and I grabbed her hand, forcefully pulling her away.
“Then, I’ll take her back to her room.”
“Thanks, please do.”
Miss Kaga watched as I started to move, trying to take Mafuyu back to her room.
We reached the staircase, hidden from the other guests’ view.
Suddenly, Mafuyu stopped moving, even when I pulled her hard, and sat down with a thud.
“Hey, what’s wrong all of a sudden?”
“Carry me.”
Mafuyu sat obstinately in front of the stairs, like a child throwing a tantrum, refusing to move no matter how much I tugged at her. Seeing my frustration, she seemed oddly pleased, which was a bit annoying.
“Alright, get up.”
“Carry me, Yuji~ You always do, what’s different today?”
“…Hey, calling me by my name so casually will give people the wrong idea.”
“I don’t care! Yuji is Yuji!”
“I’ve told you, if you call me by my first name and someone hears, they’ll find out we’re exes. It’s going to be troublesome, don’t call me by my name.”
Even as I whispered, trying not to be overheard, Mafuyu remained willfully childish.
“Why are you doing this? Calling me ‘Miss Himuro’, treating me like a stranger… just call me Mafuyu properly!”
“What a hassle… Okay, Miss Himuro, is that better?”
I stubbornly refused to call her Mafuyu and instead politely addressed her as Miss Himuro, only to be surprised by her loud response.
“Call me Mafuyu!”
“…Mafuyu, let’s go. This should be okay, right? Don’t sit in front of the stairs, stand up.”
Continuing like this, we might be overheard by people in the living room.
Hearing me say this, Mafuyu finally showed a look of ‘not entirely impossible’.
“Good, then, how about a piggyback?”
Get up! No! Get up! No!
We repeated this kind of dialogue.
No matter how long it took, Mafuyu showed no intention of standing up, so I had no choice but to squat down and turn my back to her.
“Heave-ho.”
Mafuyu immediately leaned on my back, entrusting her body to me.
The long-missed physical contact.
Why has it come to this? I wondered deeply.
Since it was dangerous to fall down the stairs while carrying her, I walked forward, leaning my body on the staircase.
Though it was hard for me, Mafuyu seemed oddly content, sniffing my scent intermittently.
Finally, I reached the door marked with ‘Room 4’.
The door was locked, and I couldn’t open it.
“Hey, where’s the key? Take it out.”
“In the left pocket.”
“I told you to take it out.”
“Why doesn’t Yuji just get it?”
Seeing that Mafuyu had no intention of taking the key out of her pocket.
I put her down on the floor and fumbled in her left pocket for the room key.
“Yuji, you’re such a pervert~”
“You…”
While being teased by Mafuyu, I opened the door with the key I found.
“Alright, hurry up and get inside.”
“No! You have to carry me to the bed~”
I had misunderstood that Mafuyu had lost interest in me. Even after learning that there was no actual infidelity, it seemed too late. Despite the fact that Mafuyu and I had ended things, her acting coquettishly like this still troubled me.
With mixed feelings, I carried Mafuyu to her bed. I thought, even though I said I’d take responsibility, I could just pretend not to have seen anything.
Why did I volunteer to take care of Mafuyu in the first place?
“Well, goodbye then.”
“Yuji, look here.”
“What now?”
Just as I turned back,
“Chu.”
My lips touched Mafuyu’s soft lips.
Regaining my senses, I found myself kissing Mafuyu for the first time in a while.
“Goodnight!”
That kind of kiss was a gentle nightly routine when we first started living together.
“You…”
“It’s not like I dislike it. Kissing is easy!”
“Ah, I see. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight~”
Mafuyu casually wished me goodnight and then quieted down.
This is the worst. The fact that the kiss itself wasn’t unpleasant was troubling.
I came to this shared house to get over my lingering feelings for Mafuyu.
After knowing the truth, instead of diminishing these feelings, my regret deepened.
While I also felt the failure of “not being able to live together smoothly” like Mafuyu did, it was impossible for me to start disliking her personally.
Then, why not start dating again?
“Mafuyu. You might be drunk, but I have one last thing to say. Our living together failed, and we broke up because of that. That’s correct, right?”
“…”
She didn’t answer.
Both Mafuyu and I, now adults, were still immature. However, we had started to consider the future. Understanding that we couldn’t ignore the failure of living together, I also comprehended this point.
“Goodbye.”
Suppressing my restless emotions, I fled Mafuyu’s room.
******
Mafuyu’s Side
The sunlight streaming through the gaps in the curtains woke me up.
“I slept well. Wait, oh, ah…”
Covering my face with my hands, I made an undignified sound of regret for my disgraceful behavior.
“I can’t believe I did that.”
I was very self-conscious about not being able to drink.
Yuji teased me about it, which annoyed me, so I drank.
Just a little, just a bit more, and then a little more. It went on like that many times…
“Ah ah ah…”
Then I disgracefully got drunk.
Clinging tightly to Yuji, I forced him to carry me to my room.
Just that should have been enough to make me wish for death, but when he was leaving…
“Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!!”
I kissed him goodnight, just like when we were dating.
What on earth did I do?
Kissing my ex-boyfriend, what was I thinking!?
“What should I do?”
An irreversible mistake.
I buried my face deep into the pillow, trying to calm down because I had no idea what to do…
Uncontrollable emotions surged back and forth in my heart, and I shouted into the pillow.
“I never imagined my ex-boyfriend would move in!”
After shouting, I calmed down a bit and sighed deeply.
“The shared house with my ex-boyfriend, with whom cohabitation failed…”
Yes, living under the same roof with Yuji was a huge failure.
On April 1 of our sophomore year in college, Yuji and I started living together in a one-bedroom near the university. But our compatibility for living together was worse than imagined.
We argued over trivial things like Yuji neglecting to take out the trash, or me casually eating food from the fridge. On rest days, just staying in the room together without plans, we would end up fighting for some reason. At some point, it became awkward just to be together.
Before I knew it, I stopped going to Yuji’s place and returned to my real home.
It was at that time, when our relationship had turned sour, that Yuji suddenly suggested we break up.
Having seen him getting along with another woman that wasn’t me, I accepted it quickly, thinking that it made sense—
“Actually, there was no cheating… that’s so cunning…”
I saw Yuji happily talking and walking with a girl who wasn’t me. At that time, I thought, ah, he’s lost interest in me… In reality, he was just consulting his sister Yūko about our strained relationship.
Yuji was concerned about our failing relationship. Knowing that he was trying so hard back then, I was already overwhelmed.
“I would definitely care.”
After so many arguments, meeting became a painful experience. Even so, I still liked Yuji.
That’s why, now that the truth is clear, I’m overly concerned about Yuji, to the point where my heart won’t stop racing.
“We can’t go back to the past, I know that clearly…”
I couldn’t fully trust him, and part of that was due to our failed cohabitation.
That’s why I know. Even if Yuji hadn’t grown tired of me, our breakup was inevitable, sooner or later.
“Ugh.”
Bad memories surfaced. The collapse of our cohabitation, which hadn’t even been a month ago, was a trauma for me. Unable to see a future, it was impossible to reconcile with Yuji now.
“What should I do?”
My trembling voice echoed in the quiet room.
Really, why did it turn out like this?
After all, how do I explain yesterday’s kiss…?