Chapter One
My campus life, which began at a certain green-hued university in Tokyo, was gray—or rather, it was ashes. Pure ashes.
No, saying it like that might give the impression that I burned out completely, but that’s absolutely not the case. No, nothing fiery ever happened. From the very beginning, I was nothing but ashes.
Attending lectures, working part-time, returning to my one-room apartment to eat and sleep—this routine had continued for over a year now.
Yes, more than a year. Without making any friends or romantic connections, I spent my first year slacking off, and before I knew it, I became a second-year student. Time flows faster than one might expect.
Will I remain a university student without accomplishing anything?
I think about it, but I have no concrete plans to change. Deep down, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that things will somehow work out.
People say that environment changes people, but for me, both people and my surroundings only change on their own terms.
While contemplating this—or not—I gulped down my drink. It was unusually coarse, with a bitter taste and a rough texture. On top of being spicy, it lingered deep in my throat. It lacked sharpness and richness. It was as unpleasant as drinking a diluted private-brand cooking sake.
“…No, this tastes awful.”
The two seniors who were staring at me with serious expressions suddenly went completely stoic. It couldn’t be helped. If it tastes bad, it tastes bad.
“Eh? You spent money on it, and it still tastes bad?”
In an instant, Senpai Sugino twisted her perfectly arranged face.
“This bad taste is just how it is. The problem is how we handle it, right?”
“What are we going to do?” Senpai Mikami poured the original sake into a paper cup and took a sip, then immediately spit it out onto the lawn behind us without swallowing.
Yes, this sake we made with enthusiasm was substantial in quantity. I couldn’t just drink it all myself. Our strategy was to serve delicious sake to attract people, but since the sake itself was bad, it ruined everything. The fundamental premise didn’t hold. Even if people came, they wouldn’t join our circle.
“Well, it can’t be helped. This is what amateur brewers make.”
After spitting her drink back onto the lawn, Senpai Mikami stood up. “I’ll go buy proper sake,” she said, leaving our vicinity. Well, since she never intended to recruit members seriously, she probably didn’t mind the outcome much.
“Geez, we went through the trouble of making it… but whatever. It was fun anyway.”
As Senpai Sugino watched Senpai Mikami’s retreating figure, she drank the sake they had made. After a few sips, she immediately spit it out onto the lawn behind her. Why are both of them doing the same thing?
“So, what are you going to do with this awful sake? Are you really going to distribute it?”
“Hmm? Hmm, it’s fine, either way. I’ll leave it to you. I’m stepping out for a bit.”
Senpai Sugino, clearly not thinking straight, took another sip of sake and promptly spat it out onto the lawn before hurrying away.
Left behind were the undrinkable sake and me. Even though it was April, it felt unusually cold—probably not just my imagination. Entrusting everything to someone with notoriously poor communication skills like me might not have been the best idea. I wonder if Senpai Sugino really wants new members.
Well, no one would come to check out our circle, located away from the main avenue. If I wait a bit, Senpai Mikami will return, and the sake party will begin. Until then, I’ll just get by.
“Um, excuse me.”
It was sudden. I didn’t expect her to come, but she showed up out of nowhere. Read the room, please.
“What is it?” I said, looking up, and standing right in front of me was Mai Hamasaki.
Mai Hamasaki—the epitome of beauty with average grades. She was also a second-year student like me. Her glossy, dark brown hair reached down to her chest, and her skin was astonishingly fair. She was reasonably tall for a girl, and her long limbs gave her a great figure. Her face, as if carved like a doll’s, looked beautiful even with minimal natural makeup.
It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say she was the most beautiful student on campus—though that’s not my personal opinion, just what others have said.
Of course, someone like me, who was already at the bottom of the campus hierarchy, had no interaction with her. In fact, this was the first time I heard her voice so close.
“Did you make this sake?”
Mai Hamasaki asked, looking impressed. Honestly, Senpai Sugino was the one who took the initiative, so Senpai Mikami and I didn’t do much. We mostly just watched.
“Yes, well… yeah, I made it.”
Explaining the circumstances wouldn’t mean anything, so I just answered that I made it. It wasn’t a lie.
But why was Mai Hamasaki here? She was a second-year student and should already belong to another circle. There’s no rule against joining multiple circles, though.
“…Um, could I have some sake?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry… Would you like to drink?”
“…Yes, if you’re offering.”
I couldn’t believe that Mai Hamasaki was right in front of me, so I had forgotten my original task. Yes, I was supposed to distribute the sake.
As I poured the original, terrible sake into a paper cup, I wondered if it was okay to give this awful drink to Mai Hamasaki. I didn’t know why she came here, but she must have some expectations about the sake. What would happen if I handed her this awful drink? It was easy to imagine.
But I couldn’t awkwardly hesitate to give it to her either. After all, she asked to drink it.
Well, since it came to this, there was nothing I could do. Fortunately, Mai Hamasaki and I are in the same year and department, but we have no connection, and she would probably forget about me quickly. As long as I don’t do something extreme, even if the sake was bad, it should be manageable.
I poured a small amount of sake and handed it to her. “Thank you,” she said without any hesitation, taking the drink.
“…Ugh.”
Right, of course. To hide the disgust on her face, she covered her mouth with her white fingers but couldn’t suppress the frown between her brows. It was inevitable.
Seeing her concerned expression, Mai Hamasaki hurriedly lowered her hand.
“No, that’s not it! It’s not like that! I mean… not that.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it tastes bad.”
She also drank her own share of sake and spat it out onto the lawn behind her because it was awful. In her flustered state, Mai Hamasaki looked at me with a “Ugh…” expression.
“Our Reality is Just a Drinking Club, But Since That’s Not Enough, We Made This Anyway. It’s Not Delicious at All.”
“A Drinking Club?”
“It’s a club where we just gather and have drinks when we’re free. No weird calls or rules. There are only three members, including me. We just drink while having casual conversations.”
To explain it again, it’s a strange club. I often hear that clubs end up being something different from their original purpose, turning into drinking clubs, but in our case, the main objective is actually to drink. Well, it seems we used to host various events in the past.
“Good job, everyone! I brought the drinks… Huh?”
After finishing my explanation, Senpai Sugino returned, holding up a bottle that looked like it contained Western alcohol. She seemed surprised by the unexpected visitor. Didn’t you say you wanted to recruit first-year students? But only second-year students are here.
Mai Hamasaki, the unexpected guest, remained calm despite her sudden appearance and gave a slight nod.
“That’s great, Senpai. She drank the bad sake.”
“You’re Mai Hamasaki, right? Why are you here?”
Ignoring my words, Senpai Sugino approached Mai Hamasaki. It wasn’t that she was surprised by the visitor, but rather surprised that the visitor was Mai Hamasaki. She didn’t seem bothered by being ignored.
“Huh? Um, how do you know my name?”
“Oh, I know. You’re famous. Last year, everyone was talking about how beautiful you are as a first-year student.”
“No, no, no! That’s not true. It really isn’t true!”
Mai Hamasaki waved her hands in front of her chest, looking flustered and troubled. Compared to Senpai Sugino, who flaunts her beauty as a weapon, Mai Hamasaki’s reaction seemed refreshingly genuine.
However, as Senpai Sugino mentioned, I was also somewhat curious why Mai Hamasaki was here. Was she just teasing?
“That’s not possible. When I saw you, your face looked so small. I was shocked. So? Seriously, why did you come here? Kirishima-kun doesn’t have friends… does he?”
“Well, yeah.”
Senpai Sugino and Senpai Mikami both know that I don’t have any friends. Since becoming a university student, I haven’t really talked much with anyone besides the two senpais.
I don’t think it’s that unusual for universities in Tokyo, but Mai Hamasaki seemed incredulous, murmuring something like, “Huh? Friends? Why?” and backing away.
“Anyway, it doesn’t matter that I don’t have friends. I’m someone who can live without them.”
“Yeah, as you can see, Kirishima-kun is pretty resilient or something. He keeps going as the last man standing, barely alive. It’s more about you, Hama-san. What happened to bring you to this remote place?”
Faced with Senpai Sugino’s somewhat harsh question, Mai Hamasaki seemed hesitant to answer. Maybe it’s unusual for a second-year student to switch clubs. Since I’m clueless about university matters due to having no friends, I honestly have no idea. Surely, there are people who change clubs frequently.
Seeing Mai Hamasaki laugh awkwardly, Senpai Sugino seemed to sense something and smiled warmly, placing the bottle of Western alcohol she had brought down onto the table with a thud.
“Let’s just drink for now.”
What happened to recruiting first-year students?
The setting had changed to a dining bar called “Gwendolin,” located one station away from the university. Senpai Sugino, Senpai Mikami, and I had forcibly brought Mai Hamasaki and were now indulging in a drinking party.
Initially, we were talking while drinking the sake we brought from the campus, but after Senpai Mikami joined and Senpai Sugino started feeling cold, we decided to change locations.
“If there’s nowhere to go, why don’t you come to our place?”
After some drinks had been consumed, Senpai Sugino abruptly suggested this to Mai Hamasaki.
Yes, I don’t know the full details, but Mai Hamasaki had left the tennis club she used to belong to and was currently unattached. There’s no need to force her into a club, but having brought her all this way, it’s not like she’s just going to leave it at that.
What stance would Senpai Mikami take? Senpai Mikami was somewhat skeptical about new club members. Glancing over, he took a rock of plum wine and drank it quickly, then responded, “…It’s fine, isn’t it?”
“Our club has this lineup, and attending this drinking party isn’t mandatory.”
“But if Hama-san joins, won’t people start fighting?”
“We can just stop recruiting. I don’t really like noisy stuff anyway. Senpai Sugino, though, is different.”
Indeed, when you think about it, Senpai Sugino’s extroverted nature doesn’t really fit our club. In the first place, I’ve never heard why the two senpais are here. All I know is that Senpai Mikami dislikes people, and Senpai Sugino is quite rough.
“Yeah, that’s true. I do like lively environments, and it’s easier to talk without worrying about others. Plus, you can’t play with toys like Kirishima here otherwise.”
“I think Senpai Sugino should be a bit more considerate, though.”
Senpai Sugino laughed heartily at my response. She’s been like this since I first met her, so it’s no surprise. I decided to retaliate.
“But Senpai, you’re not being considerate, you’re just being people-centric.”
“And spending money, right? When I heard that she’s been giving money to students and ruining professors’ new cars, I was totally taken aback. Seriously. Most of what she does is like Yakuza stuff.”
“Can’t help it. We have money. And about the car, they did it on their own. I just said I’d harass them or something. Before that, we talked about buying a new car.”
“You’re causing a scene properly. It’s the worst. Trash humans. A disgrace to Japan. A flame inside the Earth.”
“Flame inside the Earth!? Hey, that’s a bit harsh, Senpai Mikami. Even though Kirishima-kun isn’t a senpai, you’re really going off on him.”
“Well, I’d rather dislike you than the cedar pollen or something.”
“Living is really tough.”
We continued to drink lazily, exchanging our usual banter. It was somewhat better that we didn’t resort to telling each other to die or threatening to kill. But that was probably just a matter of time.
Suddenly, I became concerned about Mai Hamasaki and glanced her way. Was she taken aback by the sudden barrage of insults?
“…Um…”
She was completely turned off. Holding a glass filled with sour drinks, she looked at us with an expression like, “What are these guys?”
Well, maybe it was a bit aggressive, but did she have to be so turned off? Most drinking parties are probably like this, though I haven’t attended many.
Noticing that Mai Hamasaki was taken aback, Senpai Sugino tried to smooth things over with a cheerful smile, saying something like, “Are you okay? Do you want to drink? Do you need 10,000 yen?” It was an incomprehensible way to console her.
“Um, is this always how it is? Being so harsh and saying awful things to someone face-to-face…”
“Today, since you’re here, we’re holding back a bit.”
“Eh… that sounds fun.”
Her expression shifted from being turned off to a slightly envious look.
“At my previous place, none of that happened! Everyone was just having boring, trivial conversations, and then suddenly, insults started flying! The girls and guys who were insulting me kept talking and laughing! Isn’t that strange? When I went to the bathroom thinking, ‘Why are they laughing?’ that girl followed me. By then, I was dead serious! It was so scary!”
I find her suddenly babbling to be scary.
It seemed like something inside her flipped a switch or broke a dam, and she started talking about her previous club. Apparently, she had a lot of trouble with interpersonal relationships within the club.
Listening to Mai Hamasaki’s ongoing story, I signaled to Senpai Mikami sitting next to me.
—This person suddenly started talking and it’s scary.
—We just have to endure it. Wait for the storm to pass.
There’s only one way to handle someone who’s become emotional after drinking: just endure it.
There’s no choice. Even someone as stunningly beautiful as her has her own ordinary worries. Normally, I might feel a sense of kinship, but unfortunately, I’m not that pure, and I’m not kind to others. In fact, the more I listened to her worries, the more I realized that Mai Hamasaki and I are fundamentally different people.
The reason Mai Hamasaki left the club was simple and undeniable: she’s too beautiful.
Around Mai Hamasaki, there were shallow friends who wanted to take advantage of her beauty and self-proclaimed cool, airheaded girls who thought they were her true friends. There were also men who just wanted to have a physical relationship with her, like wolf or macho chimpanzees. However, Mai Hamasaki never dated anyone, continuously rejected confessions, and rarely participated in drinking parties. She thoroughly enjoyed tennis, but men who hadn’t yet won her over were fighting over her, while the girls pretended to protect her but were actually feasting on the guys who were rejected. In the end, even someone claiming to be her boyfriend appeared. That was the president of the tennis club.
Ultimately, Mai Hamasaki couldn’t stand the chaos within the club and quit at the end of her first year.
I think it’s an overly complicated problem.
Maybe it’s like an uncontrollable superpower or something. I, who have no friends and no intentions of making any, can’t empathize with her at all.
At the same time, I have doubts about whether her story is true. Maybe she’s just pretending to be beautiful, and in reality, her reasons are much more trivial—or still trivial enough—but perhaps there’s a completely different reason.
Maybe she’s telling us this story to gain our sympathy. If that was her actual plan, it failed.
For me, Mai Hamasaki quitting the club is irrelevant.
“—And on top of that, the day after I quit the club, I was approached by various places, and they kept asking me to join so much that it became really annoying. Isn’t that weird?”
“But you suddenly started talking so much. What’s up?”
It was Senpai Sugino who threw such a casual remark at Mai Hamasaki’s story. Her voice, which had been firing off like a machine gun, abruptly stopped, and the atmosphere became tense.
Mai Hamasaki looked at Senpai Sugino with a “Huh?” expression, but Senpai Sugino was just smiling and drinking her sake.
“Come on, come on, drink as much as you like today. It’s best to forget trivial matters by drinking!”
Senpai Sugino fetched the bottle and poured a generous amount of liquor into Mai Hamasaki’s glass. By the way, the alcohol being poured was a high-proof liqueur. If you drink it straight from a regular glass, you’d probably pass out.
“Trivial… trivial?”
Holding the glass trembling in her hand, Mai Hamasaki turned towards me. Senpai Mikami, while crunching ice from his plum wine rock, responded in a light, clear voice.
“Trivial. It wasn’t even funny.”
Mai Hamasaki’s gaze shifted to me. It was hard to answer under such scrutiny, but since we didn’t have any prior relationship, I decided to answer honestly.
“I don’t have any friends, and I’ve never been in a relationship, so I didn’t know what was so trivial about it. Actually, isn’t having friends the problem?”
Listening to my twisted response, Mai Hamasaki widened her eyes. She probably wondered why someone like me had to say such things, but it’s her fault for creating the situation. I have no intention of making friends or having a relationship, so my words don’t resonate with her at all.
“Exactly! Having friends is the problem! What you should make are money pits! You can handle everything with money, and it doesn’t rot!”
“Regardless of this stupid girl’s arguments, trying to look good in front of friends is definitely the cause. Maybe you should live a bit more carefree.”
Objectively, the blame lies with Mai Hamasaki, and it’s just my bad personality, but it doesn’t matter. Mai Hamasaki and I are fundamentally different people.
Perhaps Mai Hamasaki was expecting a different reaction from us, as all three of us reacted differently. She stood there with her mouth open, holding her glass, frozen in place. Worried that she might have said too much, I watched her face gradually flush with embarrassment. Slowly, she lowered her face, her shoulders beginning to tremble—and then she slammed her glass onto the table.
“This is great! It’s amazing! You’re not being considerate at all!”
I couldn’t help but look away from Mai Hamasaki. Somehow, it was confusing, but she seemed excited.
The senpais also widened their eyes at Mai Hamasaki’s second outburst.
“I’ve never been treated so dismissively before! It’s awesome! No consideration at all!”
She was a strange girl. Mai Hamasaki was even stranger than I had imagined. Her large eyes were wide open, her cheeks dyed a near-pink red, and she happily hugged herself, grinning widely.
“I’ve never been treated so casually before, so I’m really happy! Why is everyone so kind!?”
“Not kind.”
“She’s so creepy.”
“Who brought this girl?”
“This is what I wanted! I wanted something like this!”
Mai Hamasaki wriggled while hugging herself, gulping down her sake with gusto and grinning wildly, looking excessively happy.
Normally, seeing her radiant smile would make me fall in love instantly, but given the flow of our conversation so far, I couldn’t feel that way.
“She’s a Monster Born Because She’s Beautiful. After All, Everyone, No Matter Their Looks, Has Their Own Struggles.”
Knowing the personal side of Mai Hamasaki, who can legitimately be called the most beautiful woman in our university, I felt not a sense of camaraderie but rather, honestly, an even greater distance between us.
*
Two women with odd energy and two men who drank at their own pace. The four-person drinking party dragged on until around midnight, when it finally ended.
When we left the store, Senpai Miharu Sugino’s car—a Mercedes—had arrived without us noticing, ready to pick up Senpai Sugino and the utterly drunk Senpai Yu Mikami.
I could have asked to be driven home as well, but since I’m not fond of the smell of other people’s cars and tend to get car sick when there’s alcohol in the car, I always politely decline and just go home on my own.
Today, like always, I decided to go home alone—but unexpectedly, Mai Hamasaki also decided to take the train home. By the way, she now had a fairly calm demeanor, sporting her initial “cheerful yet somehow cool and composed expression.”
“Today was so much fun. It might have been the most enjoyable drinking party I’ve ever had. Thank you very much.”
Mai Hamasaki bowed her head to Senpai Miharu Sugino and Senpai Yu Mikami, who had already boarded the car. While the senpais and she were conversing, I couldn’t leave early and just waited for their conversation to end.
Listening to their conversations like “I had a great time too” and “We’ll call you again soon,” I finally heard the car doors close. As the engine rumbled, the car carrying the senpais disappeared into the night cityscape.
A warm spring night breeze swept between us, and I scratched my neck uncomfortably.
“Ah… well, I’m heading this way, so good night.”
I quickly put some distance between us. I have absolutely no intention of walking home with Mai Hamasaki. I don’t want to walk next to such a beautiful person. She probably finds it hard to accept too. That’s for sure.
“Yeah, good night~ See you~”
Mai Hamasaki waved her hands flutteringly and walked away in the opposite direction. I thought she was a normal girl, but she turned out to be quite something. And since Senpai Sugino must have taken a liking to Mai Hamasaki today, she’s probably going to force her into our club.
I don’t hate the idea, but I don’t agree with it either—well, there’s no use worrying about it now. I can only wait to see how she responds.
“Let’s go home now. Pushing Mai Hamasaki’s retreating figure out of my sight, I also head towards the nearest station.”
Once I get home, I need to finally do my laundry. The pants I can wear――Thud!
I heard a dull, painful-sounding noise. It wasn’t me; it was coming from behind.
Thinking something must be wrong, I turned around and saw Mai Hamasaki sticking her head into a utility pole at the edge of the road.
Straightening my posture, I took a step forward. Next, she staggered and bumped into the large sign of the izakaya to the right.
“…Could it be, you’re still drunk?”
Mai Hamasaki continued walking with a wobbly gait, leaning against the wall outside the building. She was drinking like something out of a picture.
“…This is annoying.”
I don’t want to get involved. I have no obligation to help her. It doesn’t matter. She’s someone who doesn’t concern me. I should just go home. If it’s about her, a kind person will probably take care of her. I don’t want her to think I have ulterior motives, even though my intentions are purely good.
So, I decided to leave Mai Hamasaki alone.
I began walking briskly, making heavy footsteps. I walked absentmindedly, without thinking of anything extra, hands shoved into my hoodie pockets――I called out to Mai Hamasaki who had stopped.
“Mai Hamasaki, are you okay?”
I slightly tilted my head to check on her, who was leaning against the wall with her face buried. Through the strands of her glossy hair, her enchantingly shining eyes peeked out, and I instinctively diverted my gaze to her mouth. However, that was a mistake. My averted glance lingered on her moist, soft lips, compelling me to gaze at her teasingly as they moved. Then she whispered softly, “…I’m hungry.”
“Are you hungry?”
Why all of a sudden? What’s this about? Isn’t this about being super drunk and feeling sick?
As if leaving me bewildered, Mai Hamasaki suddenly grabbed my chest. What the heck is with this girl, she’s too scary.
“I’m hungry! Let’s eat something!”
My vision swayed as she said this. Stop it. I’ve had enough to drink today too. I’ll just pass out.
Unable to resist her sudden attack, Mai Hamasaki continued to shake me further. Repeating “I’m hungry,” she leaned in with the intensity that seemed like she was about to bite me.
The scent of alcohol and perfume. The fact that these two smells don’t bother me much—whether it’s a trick of her charm or because I’m too scared and confused to make proper judgments about smells. It’s probably the latter.
“I’m so hungry~!”
“Yeah, I understand. I understand, so let’s just go home quickly for now.”
I continued walking slowly, lending my shoulder to the shouting Mai Hamasaki. If things were going to turn out like this, I should have never helped her after all. The reason for my regret was different from what I thought.
Dealing with a drunk person isn’t my first time, but handling someone this aggressive is. Senpai Miharu Sugino is insanely strong with alcohol, so she never gets drunk, and Senpai Yu Mikami becomes quiet even when he’s drunk. So, I could say that the people I’ve dealt with so far have been relatively safe.
However, Mai Hamasaki was different.
As I supported her staggering form while walking, I thought she was being quiet, but then she suddenly started groaning with “Ah” and “Ugh,” and sometimes let out sudden bursts of laughter. Laughing, she pats my shoulder.
Furthermore, Mai Hamasaki’s striking appearance worked against her. It worked very badly. Even though seeing drunk people isn’t rare in Tokyo at night, no one would normally care, but seeing a beauty like her completely plastered made everyone passing by double-take. Then, they would look at me with a “What’s up?” expression. I wasn’t taking care of her out of liking her. If I hadn’t been there, she would probably have been approached and taken away by some random guy in no time.
“Looks like you don’t want me to be taken away…”
I ended up criticizing myself. But that’s right. Mai Hamasaki getting caught by some random guy should be irrelevant to me, yet.
“…I want to eat pizza.”
Come to think of it, I didn’t ask her where her nearest station was. It’d be fine if it’s not too far, but if it’s in a neighboring prefecture, I wouldn’t be able to go home normally.
“Hey, I want pizza.”
Wait, do I really need to accompany her until she gets on the train? Can’t we just go to the ticket gate and say good night?
“Pizza! I want pizza! The ones with crispy ears! Not hamburgers!”
“Ah, geez, shut up already!”
I might have just let out the loudest shout I’ve ever made. But even so, Mai Hamasaki’s momentum didn’t stop, and she kept shaking my body left and right while saying, “Pizaa~.”
I can’t take it anymore. At least, I can’t.
“Alright. If you’re going that far, I’ll get you some pizza. Okay?”
“Really!? Let’s eat! Let’s eat right away!”
In response to my suggestion, Mai Hamasaki’s eyes sparkled. She flashed a wide, smiling face and bounced happily.
To eat the desired pizza, I trudged forward while Mai Hamasaki walked behind me, holding onto my shoulder. Eventually, we reached the station and entered a nearby restaurant.
Even during the late-night hours, there were quite a few customers inside the store, but there were no people waiting at the order counter.
Walking with Mai Hamasaki, I approached the staff member across the counter to place our order.
“For takeout, we’ll have a teriyaki burger and a double cheeseburger. Also, a small size strawberry shake.”
“Not pizza!”
Just as I finished ordering, Mai Hamasaki behind me shouted out. “What the hell, this girl! There’s no way you can have pizza ready this late at night.”
“Uh, your total comes to 750 yen.”
“Hey, pizza! I want pizza! The ones with crispy ears! Not hamburgers!”
“Alright, the ones with crispy ears. Here’s 1,050 yen.”
“Y-Yes. I’ll take 1,050 yen and here’s your 300 yen change.”
“Thank you.”
“Pizaa~!”
Mai Hamasaki patted my arms vigorously while shouting. The staff member gave me a “Are you okay?” kind of look, and I just replied, “Sorry, I’m drunk,” and walked away from the counter. However, within less than three minutes, our order was ready, and I was able to pick it up immediately. Fast food in Tokyo really is much quicker compared to the countryside.
“Here you go, this is yours.”
As soon as we left the store, I handed the teriyaki burger to Mai Hamasaki. She, who had been shouting loudly, took it reluctantly with a disgruntled expression and started eating while walking mutteringly.
The same Mai Hamasaki, who had been incredibly loud just a moment ago, was now walking silently and being calm. Apparently, she didn’t really need pizza after all.
By the time we reached the station, Mai Hamasaki had finished her teriyaki burger and was just staggering around. I wondered if eating something made her this calm. As I thought that, I walked to the ticket gate without saying a word, noticing sauce on the corner of my mouth.
“Well then, I’ll be here.”
“I don’t have a commuter pass.”
One problem solved, another arose. Watching Mai Hamasaki rummage through her bag, I sighed quietly.
“Eh~ I don’t have a commuter pass~”
There’s no way I don’t have a commuter pass. It’s impossible to have used a commuter pass to get this far and still have it in hand. Depending on where I put it away, but even so, since I don’t use the commuter pass for anything other than taking the train, it’s impossible for me not to have it.
Well, explaining that to a drunk person wouldn’t make sense, so I took out a thousand-yen bill from my wallet and handed it to her.
“You should go home quickly.”
I handed the thousand-yen bill to Mai Hamasaki, and after receiving it, she just asked, “Is this okay?”
“It’s fine. By the way, what time is the last train?”
“Hmm, what time was it… I think it was around 1:05 AM?”
Trusting my vague memory, I checked the time on my smartphone――it was 1:03 AM.
“Hehe.”
I laughed.
“Let’s hurry. The last train is about to leave. Specifically, in two minutes.”
“Two more minutes!? No way!”
I recoiled in surprise, and Mai Hamasaki started moving. Fumbling, she bought a ticket and passed through the ticket gate, and I hurriedly chased after her.
We raced through the busy station, ran up the stairs, and dashed into the train. Together, we took positions near the center of the car, waiting for the train to depart while breathing heavily.
After that, a few more people rushed into the train, and we quickly moved closer to the doors.
After about two or three minutes, the doors finally closed, and the train began to move slowly.
As I watched the night cityscape pass by, I suddenly came back to reality.
“I missed the last train.”
*
While walking home with Mai Hamasaki, I felt strange glances upon us.
It’s Tokyo night, but already deep into the night. Only Mai Hamasaki and I are walking.
If that’s the case, the source of the glances naturally comes into focus.
I glanced over at Mai Hamasaki, who was walking beside me.
“……”
She was looking at me intensely, almost rudely. It’s not just that she was looking; she was targeting me.
Yes, Mai Hamasaki’s gaze wasn’t at me but directed at the bag containing the hamburger she had bought on her whim earlier.
“Is this?”
I lightly lifted the plastic bag, and her gaze followed accordingly. It’s like she’s staring at an animal.
“…Would you like some?”
Mai Hamasaki nodded eagerly. Even though she was already eating earlier, she’s eating well now.
Actually, I had bought the double cheeseburger for myself, but I don’t really care anymore. I bought it on a whim.
Avoiding her direct gaze, I handed her the remaining double cheeseburger. By the way, the strawberry shake was drunk on the train, so there was none left.
“Thank you~ I’ll have it~”
With a cheerful demeanor, Mai Hamasaki began eating the double cheeseburger. She gets angry when hungry, fusses when lacking a commuter pass, eats happily, and is a person with busy emotions.
I truly think she’s the exact opposite of me.
Unlike me, who has hardened my emotions to avoid getting hurt, Mai Hamasaki remains soft. Her well-defined features allow her to laugh, cry, and express joy without her composed face ever faltering. Honestly, it’s a little enviable that she looks attractive no matter her expression.
As I walked down the night path, I kept telling myself, “Don’t get it twisted.” Mai Hamasaki is indeed beautiful, cute, and an attractive woman. But no, I shouldn’t fall for her. Someone like me—gloomy, self-deprecating, a social weakling with below-average studies, athletics, and looks—she wouldn’t be interested in me. My affection towards her is just creepy.
Didn’t you learn this back in middle school? That someone like me isn’t good enough.
“Forget it.”
I remembered the time with Mai Hamasaki and decided to cut it all off. Telling myself that it doesn’t concern me, I emptied my mind and kept moving my feet relentlessly.
*
The Next Day, I Felt Absolutely Terrible.
I spent the time until the first train at a net cafe near the station, barely dozing off on an uncomfortable reclining seat. When the first train arrived, I went home, slept again, woke up a few hours later, took a shower, and headed to the university. If my classes hadn’t started at the third period, I would have already skipped them long ago.
“…Damn.”
Before the third-period lecture began, I sat down at a seat towards the back corner of the classroom, leaning on my elbows.
As more people gradually filled the room, my smartphone, placed on the desk, suddenly began to vibrate.
Curious about the notification, I checked my messages and saw a friend request on the messaging app. Impossible. I have no friends at school, and no friends back home, so why would someone send me a friend request?
“Who the hell is this—” I thought, unlocking my phone and checking the message, only to see that the sender was someone named “Mai.” No, who is this? It must be that—some spam account pretending to be someone.
‘Behind you.’
A creepy message came from the spam account. No, it’s too scary. Isn’t the goal to steal personal information?
‘I’m behind you.’
Stop it, stop it, stop it. This is super scary. The next message will definitely be ‘I’m next to you,’ right?
“What the hell is this guy doing, sending such horror-like messages—could it be he’s not a spam account?”
As I began to doubt the very existence of the account, I realized something important. The account name was “Mai.” Considering the timeline and everything, this is probably Mai Hamasaki’s account.
If that’s the case, then the meaning of the message starts to make sense. She’s probably sending the message from a seat behind mine, away from where I was sitting. She must have gotten my account information from Senpai Miharu Sugino or someone like that.
“I see, in that case, it’s not scary at all.” Turning around smoothly, as expected, Mai Hamasaki was sitting diagonally behind me. When our eyes met, she gave a slight smile and waved her hand a little.
To handle her unnerving, somewhat flustered gesture naturally, I suppressed my feelings and brushed it off. “Don’t underestimate me, thinking that such an overly cute gesture will work. It only made my heart skip a beat.”
‘Are you free for lunch today?’
A new message arrived, and I thought for a moment. What is Mai Hamasaki trying to achieve by wanting to spend lunch break with me? Since my memory of being extremely drunk yesterday is probably already gone, and if she wants to ask me something about the club, she should have asked Senpai Miharu Sugino or Senpai Yu Mikami instead of me.
‘I’m free.’
I still don’t understand her intentions, but unfortunately, I’m free, so I had no choice but to respond that way. I mean, I don’t have any friends at university, so I have no plans during lunch break.
‘Really? Then let’s have lunch together.’
‘Understood. Should I choose the restaurant from my end?’
‘No, I’ll choose this time. I’ll send you the location later.’
‘Thanks. If possible, I’d prefer a place a little away from the university.’
‘Got it.’
Just as the conversation was winding down, the lecturer walked in. I pocketed my phone and adopted a listening posture.
Mai Hamasaki probably wants to talk to me about something, but honestly, I couldn’t have imagined it.
I Chose a Place Away from the University to Avoid Rumors or Being Hounded.
She’s a beauty who would cause a stir in our club. If someone like me, an ordinary person with below-average academics, athletics, and looks, were seen having a meal with her, it would ruin my plain and uneventful university life.
That’s why I chose this method. To avoid being seen interacting with her, I presented these conditions to her, but I never thought—bringing her to such a place would lead to this.
“Senpai Yu, I’ll have the Genbuto set, dashimaki tamago, chilled yellowtail sashimi~ and an oolong tea, please. Asato-kun, anything else you’d like to order?”
“…Um, I’ll have an oolong tea too.”
“Understood,” the staff member said politely, bowing her head, and walked away from the table. I placed the unusually compact menu on the table and stared at the empty pot in front of me.
A shabu-shabu restaurant located one station away from the university. The establishment clearly stood apart from ordinary places, and I began to doubt Mai Hamasaki’s sense of style.
Well, it does match the conditions, but why choose a place like this? It’s clearly not aligned with the financial means of a typical university student. And shabu-shabu in the afternoon, really?
Seeing her order confidently at such an expensive place, with her clothes and the rented apartment, made me think she must be someone like Senpai Miharu Sugino—someone fancy and refined.
Still, the reason I can remain relatively calm is because this is her treat. After being treated by Senpai Miharu Sugino the day before, today I’m being treated by Mai Hamasaki. It’s an enviable lifestyle of being treated lavishly. Not bad at all.
However, just because she’s treating me doesn’t mean I’m foolish enough to order ridiculously expensive dishes or meat. I’m not so brazen, and I don’t have the courage for that. I chose the Genbuto set simply because it was relatively affordable.
“Today, you invited me, Asato-kun, because you had something to talk about…”
As the drinks and meat arrived, Mai Hamasaki began speaking. I thought she was getting to the point, but I continued to dip the meat into the pot.
“About yesterday…”
Mai Hamasaki took a piece of meat that was ready to eat, dipped it into the special sauce, and looked at me with an apologetic expression without putting it into her mouth.
Yesterday, does she mean the drinking party? Or something that happened afterward?
“You know, Mai, you sent me messages yesterday, right?”
“…Was I? I don’t really remember.”
I tried to deflect casually, but Mai Hamasaki stared at me without showing any signs of anger or relief from my vague words.
“I remember everything.”
“…Um, what do you mean by everything?”
“Yeah, everything. When I was staggering, you called out to me, and in the middle of it, I kept being selfish, hitting you multiple times, having you buy me food, covering my train fare, and sending me home—all without any thanks… No matter how much I drink, my memory doesn’t fade.”
Mai Hamasaki chuckled self-mockingly. No matter how much she drinks, she remembers everything, which in itself is tough.
“Yeah, I get that you remember everything. But there’s more to the story, right?”
Swallowing the soft meat with a goofy smile, I continued talking. If yesterday was just about causing trouble, then this meal would erase it. In fact, I’d even get some change back.
“Yeah, well… If possible, I’d like you to keep what happened yesterday… to yourself.”
With a guilty expression, I couldn’t help but chuckle.
Covering my mouth with my hand, I tried to hold back from laughing any further. After all, such a request is just too out of line.
Despite my earnest request, Mai Hamasaki was laughing. She looked at me with a suspicious expression while holding her meat in her mouth, frequently tilting her head.
“Please don’t tell anyone, especially someone like me who doesn’t have acquaintances to spread your story.”
“Even if you did, no one would believe it. No one would believe that Mai Hamasaki was a drunk. By the way, don’t people who drank with you know about it?”
Even she wasn’t drunk for the first time yesterday. She must have exposed her unpleasant behavior at past drinking parties—well, to put it bluntly, she must have shown some unsavory sides.
However, Mai Hamasaki awkwardly looked down to the side, avoiding my gaze.
“I… was so drunk for the first time since I entered university.”
An unexpected answer. Apparently, she wasn’t usually that high-spirited yesterday. Well, she was a bit creepy, but still.
Even so, getting so drunk for the first time feels rather unusual. Was there a reason behind it?
“You didn’t get this drunk at the tennis club’s drinking parties, did you?”
“Yeah, well… It wasn’t fun.”
So yesterday must have been exceptionally fun, enough to lower her inhibitions. Hearing Mai Hamasaki say she didn’t have fun, I tried to maintain a blank expression and quietly drank my oolong tea.
It wasn’t like I had anything to do with making her enjoy herself. It was Senpai Miharu Sugino who made her this high-spirited. I was just dealing with a drunk Mai Hamasaki.
“Yesterday was so, so much fun.”
While eating the vegetables scooped from the pot, Mai Hamasaki spoke happily.
No wonder she was so happy after drinking so much and partying. Reminding me of the two women laughing and partying loudly with their drinks, I listened to her words silently.
“It’s been a while since I just chatted aimlessly without thinking about anything. It was such fun drinking!”
Recalling that moment, Mai Hamasaki laughed with a grin. For her, drinking parties hadn’t been enjoyable until now.
“Do you want to join our club?”
The answer was almost decided, but I decided to ask anyway.
Mai Hamasaki looked straight into my eyes and gave a firm, somewhat mischievous smile.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure not to drink too much this time.”
Mai Hamasaki’s response seemed to understand my concerns.
Honestly, her joining the club is a complicated feeling for me. Senpai Yu suggested not bringing in other members, but even so, men who cling to her will probably emerge. She might get involved with some troublesome guys, and more importantly, our values don’t align.
Mai Hamasaki is just too dazzling. Being close to her makes me feel pathetic.
Therefore, her joining the club is something I can’t be happy about—not that I can’t, but it’s unavoidable.
“Nice to meet you from now on, Asato-kun.”
“…Thanks.”
If she smiles at me like that, even someone as weak and frail as I am can’t refuse.