▣ KO-FI ▣ DISCORD ▣

Chapter 4: Childhood Friends, Going Shopping

♠♠♠♠♠♠

──A week had passed since then.

It had been a week since Shizuno and I started sharing a bed every night.

Every evening, after dinner and a bath, Shizuno would come over by taxi. We would sleep together until morning and then go to school separately as if nothing had happened.

Thanks to this routine, my sleepiness was completely resolved.

My headaches and dizziness had vanished.

Two weeks into high school, I had finally managed to achieve a minimally healthy lifestyle.

However──the excitement of sleeping next to her remained unchanged.

As the time for Shizuno’s arrival approached, I would become restless, and my heart seemed ready to burst when we lay side by side under the blanket. This feeling, it seemed, wouldn’t fade; in fact, it might have gotten worse now that my sleep deprivation had subsided.

By the way──Shizuno’s attitude hadn’t changed much.

Even after that night, she seemed to calmly accept our situation, and her aloofness outside of our shared sleeping arrangement remained unchanged.

……Perhaps, she was still hung up on that promise we made.

That utterly misconstrued promise between us. The matter with the farm and Tokyo.

I guess that was……inevitable, in a way.

Even now, I was curious about why things turned out the way they did, and I wasn’t completely at peace with it.

However……it was somewhat lonely that she could stay so calm while being so close, even clinging to me throughout the night. To her, am I just a big, warm living creature to sleep with, like a cow or something……?

And──there was one troubling change.

“……Ugh……”

That morning──before the alarm went off, I woke up and groaned at the situation I found myself in.

──I was being clung to.

Shizuno, still asleep, was clinging tightly to me under the blanket.

She was hugging my arm, breathing softly in her sleep.

Upon closer look, there was a slight dribble of drool from her mouth──.

──Well, she’s relaxed.

Perhaps she was getting used to sleeping together, or her guard was slightly lowered.

Shizuno’s tension seemed to have generally relaxed──.

She would cling to me like this, and often, her pajama buttons would come undone. For me, who was already nervous about sleeping together, it was like receiving an additional blow, nearly knocking me out.

In fact, even now……,

“……Ah!”

When I looked down──I could see quite a bit.

From the neckline of her pajamas, her cleavage was clearly visible.

Moreover, due to a gap in the clothing, a risky amount of skin was exposed.

Shizuno was slender, but there seemed to be quite a volume there. It was almost dangerously close to spilling out.

──This is not good.

──If we continue like this, it’s going to be problematic.

Especially──in this close position, it was, well, quite suggestive.

With a strong mental fortitude honed through my family’s business, I shifted my gaze away from Shizuno.

Then, millimeter by millimeter──ever so slightly, I tried to escape her grasp.

If Shizuno woke up in this situation, it would be more awkward than ever……and worst case, she might misinterpret the situation.

And──after a five-minute struggle.

I finally managed to free myself from Shizuno’s arms and squatted beside the bed to catch my breath, just as the alarm on my smartphone went off.

“……Hmm, hmm……”

Shizuno woke up and sat up.

Looking at me, she tilted her head and asked,

“Good morning, Shinobu……what are you doing?”

──Her expression was one of bewilderment.

Well, it made sense. There I was, beside the bed, looking exhausted and breathing heavily. Naturally, she would be confused……

For the moment, I stretched my legs and pretended,

“……Ah, just doing my daily workout!”

I explained to Shizuno.

“I have to keep it up every day, or my body gets stiff……”

“……You haven’t been doing it until now, have you?”

“……Well, that’s……you know, I do it when Shizuno isn’t here, or when I wake up earlier!”

“……Hmm.”

Shizuno looked dubious.

She seemed to accept the explanation, but her expression still held a hint of doubt……

……This might be a problem.

If Shizuno continues to lose her tension and becomes more defenseless……

Someday, I might slip up, and she might sense my turmoil.

……What should I do?

Continuing my endless squats, I pondered alone──.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

“──Doing workouts in the morning……”

While waking up and stretching, I let out a small sigh.

It’s been a week since we started sharing a bed.

My health is completely back to normal, and I’m finally starting to enjoy high school life.

But……

“Huff…… puff……”

Shinobu, continuing his solo workout next to the bed……

──Even though he’s my childhood friend who promised a future together and we share a bed now.

Despite seeing me in quite a defenseless state──he continues his everyday life without getting flustered or showing any signs of being affected.

……I still get nervous about it.

Every time I come to Shinobu’s house, every time we get into bed together, my heart feels like it’s going to burst…… Isn’t that terrible?

Couldn’t he treat me a bit more like a girl……?

“……I’ll make breakfast.”

Letting out another sigh, I stand up to head to the kitchen.

“Is Japanese food okay? We have eggs, so maybe omelets and miso soup……”

“Oh, I can do it.”

“……Really?”

“Yeah, you cooked yesterday.”

“……Okay, then, please.”

Nodding, I decide to take his word for it and sit near the low table, starting to idly check my phone.

……When things become like this, when casual treatment becomes the norm, the novelty fades, and appreciation gets forgotten…… I worry that someday he might really start to think of me as just someone unimportant.

“──So, how has it been lately……?”

During lunch break, while eating with Kanon as usual in the classroom, she hesitantly asks.

“Is everything going well? What’s it like……?”

“……What do you mean, ‘what’s it like’?”

“Well, of course……”

Kanon glances briefly across the classroom──toward Shinobu,

“About him……!”

──Shinobu was, as usual, eating lunch with Komine-kun near the corridor, laughing and talking cheerfully, oblivious to our conversation.

By the way──he and I still don’t talk at school.

To outsiders, we would just appear as normal classmates, and nobody would imagine that we spend every night together.

But Kanon, with a somewhat tense expression and a hushed voice, says,

“You’ve been sleeping together every day since then, right? How are things…… between you and him?”

──I had explained to Kanon alone that I started sleeping with Shinobu.

After worrying her quite a bit in the nurse’s office the other day, I didn’t want to keep secrets.

Well, Kanon was quite shocked, saying things like “What!? Is that really okay?…… I’ll remember Shinobu Ōtaki’s name……” But ultimately, she accepted it, knowing it made me feel better.

So, wanting to reassure her a little, I smile at her and say,

“Yeah…… thanks to that, I’ve been sleeping well. Thanks for worrying about me.”

“──What…… really?”

Kanon’s eyes widen in surprise.

Then she glances again at Shinobu, frowning──,

“Shinobu Ōtaki, I thought he was just some guy, but he’s not bad……!”

“What’s with that, sounding like a rival character from a battle manga……”

“Even I couldn’t manage to make Shizuno sleep peacefully!”

“Why are you so fired up about it……!?”

──Indeed.

Before asking Shinobu to sleep with me, I had asked the same of Kanon.

And as a result──I couldn’t sleep well.

I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep until morning, and rather, Kanon got inexplicably excited about sleeping together with me…… ending up just staying up all night.

But……,

“It was just a coincidence, don’t worry about it…… It’s not like Kanon was bad or anything.”

“Even so, I can’t help but feel uneasy!”

Then, Kanon leans towards me and asks,

“So what’s he like? Is Shinobu Ōtaki someone you can trust?”

“Hey, lower your voice! What kind of stance is that……”

“If a normal fangirl is going to sleep with a guy, you’d be worried, right? Is everything okay? Nothing weird happening?”

“……Nothing weird. If anything, it seems like he’s not interested in me at all……”

I say, recalling what happened this morning.

Ignoring me, Shinobu continued doing squats endlessly……

……I felt my irritation returning.

“While I’m right beside him, he acts as if nothing’s different…… Even after we started sleeping together, he just calmly continues his workout? What’s with him……”

“……Grr!”

ILUS NO.12

“Hey, what’s wrong!? Why do you look so hurt……?”

“It’s just that…… Shizuno’s expression just now…… it hit me hard.”

“What do you mean……?”

“So…… is Ōtaki-kun someone who’s clueless and insensible? Like, someone who doesn’t understand a girl’s feelings at all……?”

“……No, not really. He always says ‘thank you’ and ‘it’s delicious’ when I make breakfast.”

“Ugh……!”

“Actually, he often cooks. His dishes are more elaborate than mine.”

“Ughh……!”

“And…… he properly shared the expenses for our sleepovers. He paid for things like the taxi fare and body wash……”

“Ughhhhh……!”

Kanon let out a wail like a defeated demon and slumped over the desk.

“Are you, are you okay!?”

“Yeah, I’m fine…… But to my surprise, Ōtaki-kun is quite something……”

Blood seemed to spill from Kanon’s mouth as she raised her face.

Wait, actual physical damage……!?

……But upon closer inspection, it looked more like ketchup from the omelet we had eaten earlier.

Then Kanon elegantly wiped off the ketchup with her handkerchief and said,

“However, considering all this, isn’t he a remarkably good guy? A rare gentlemanly youth for our generation?”

“Eh!? Not at all!”

I shook my head vehemently, driven by anger.

“He’s not as good as Kanon says! A gentleman……?”

……While saying this, I recalled all his words and actions so far.

“He’s weirdly considerate…… respects me…… and sometimes he’s really kind……”

……Yeah, that’s really just it.

Just a few good points.

Isn’t Kanon overestimating him……?

Yet, Kanon looked at me with a warm gaze and said,

“……Isn’t that what you call a gentleman?”

……

……

……

“……Ah～……”

──I found myself reluctantly agreeing.

“So…… maybe. I see…… that’s a gentleman.”

──Now that she mentioned it, that might be true.

I can’t accept that he forgot our promise and the need for us to sleep together…… but a gentleman.

Yeah, maybe…… I have to admit it.

“Indeed…… ever since I started going there, Shinobu seems to be cleaning his room more often than before…… In that regard, I’m somewhat grateful……”

“Damn, no complaints there!”

Kanon held her head.

“Having a girl come over every day must be a burden for a guy! And yet, he handles even that with such grace…… I can’t help but support…… their sleepovers……!”

“Really, what’s with that excitement……?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Kanon has been a bit too emotionally unstable, hasn’t she?

Sure, if a close friend of mine started sleeping with a guy, I’d be somewhat shaken too……

And then,

“……A burden, huh?”

I repeated the words Kanon had said.

Since that day, I’ve been casually intruding into Shinobu’s house every night, but maybe, as Kanon said, it could be confusing for him.

Especially for someone of the opposite sex, with whom there’s an emotional barrier.

──Then, maybe.

I glanced at Shinobu, pondering.

Maybe I should make a suggestion…

“──Are you really sure about this?”

Shinobu, with his backpack on──even at this stage.

When we arrived at my house, he began to worry aloud.

“Is it really okay to suddenly intrude and stay over? Are you sure it’s fine?”

I understood his anxiety.

Normally, it’s a bit unthinkable for high schoolers to have sleepovers at the house of someone of the opposite gender.

But still… we’ve already stepped out of the realm of “normal,” and we’ve repeated these “unthinkable” scenarios several times.

It’s pointless to worry about that now.

Besides, as Kanon said, it must be confusing for him to always sleep at his place.

That’s why I wanted to properly offer a place for us to sleep together.

“Don’t worry about it. Like I said before, my parents aren’t here, so there’s no need to be cautious. More importantly, lingering in front of the house will look weird to the neighbors.”

“Th-That’s true…”

Shinobu nodded earnestly with a serious expression.

Then, as if he had made up his mind──,

“Then… I’m in your care!”

He said with a tone like an athlete before a match.

“──So spacious…! Eh, is this an entrance hall!? Do private homes even have these!?”

“──The TV’s so big! Is this… tatami size…? It’s huge…!”

“──This is indirect lighting!? I’ve heard about it, but it’s my first time seeing it…”

Shinobu, upon arriving at our house, was reacting dramatically to everything he saw, like a primitive man experiencing civilization for the first time.

Surprised by the layout, astonished by the appliances, amazed by the furniture…

Isn’t it a bit too much?

Well, I was excited when we first moved in, but seeing him so overjoyed makes me feel embarrassed and a bit awkward…

Finally, in my room, I explained,

“……Tonight, we’ll sleep here.”

While saying things like “Wow…” and “It’s so spacious…”, he looked around modestly.

“Leave your stuff in this room. Bathroom items are fine in the washroom.”

“Okay, got it!”

“Also, feel free to look at any books on the bookshelf, and if you need, I can lend you my computer or tablet. Let me know if you need anything.”

“Man, you’ve thought of everything… Thank you.”

Then, he said matter-of-factly,

“Alright… then, I’ll go back home.”

He announced he would return after dinner and a bath. “I’m a guy alone, so I’ll walk instead of taking a taxi. It might be a bit late, though.”

“……Eh? You’re not staying here?”

I asked reflexively.

“……Huh?”

“Thought you’d stay here until bed since it’d be a hassle to go back and forth…”

──He looked stunned.

Wait, why?

Did I say something weird…?

I had just assumed that was the plan…

“No, that’s not it…”

He began to explain, his gaze swimming.

“Shizuno always went back home. I thought it was better to just come for sleep…”

“Ah… That’s because I have things to do. Skincare, hair care. I can’t just leave all that at Shinobu’s place. It’s out of necessity.”

“Th-That’s how it was…”

“Do you have something you need to do at home?”

“No, nothing in particular… But there’s still quite some time before bed. Is that… okay?”

Shinobu asked cautiously.

His tone made me suddenly wonder.

“……Don’t you want to be with me?”

“……Eh?”

“You don’t want to be in this house with me…?”

That was the only conclusion I could come to.

Certainly, there’s a distance between us now.

Maybe we can’t be together as carefreely as we used to be.

But for him to go back home and then come again… It must mean Shinobu really doesn’t want to be with me.

Sleeping together is just a necessity, the bare minimum. Maybe he didn’t even want to come to this house at all.

If that’s the case, it explains why he seems so uninterested in me…

“It’s not like that!”

Shinobu hurriedly said that, looking flustered.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with Shizuno… just wondering if it’s really okay…”

“……Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

“Well, you know, there are various things… at our age, lots of things!”

“……We’re already sharing a bed, isn’t it a bit late for that?”

“There are other issues beyond just sleeping together…!”

“……What do you mean specifically?”

“……Specifically… no, never mind. It’s nothing!”

Scratching his hair, Shinobu seemed to give up and said,

“Alright, I get it! I’ll stay! I’ll stay until tonight!”

“……You don’t have to force yourself.”

“I’m not forcing anything!”

Shinobu’s words seemed like an attempt to cover up something. Not knowing whether he was speaking his true feelings or just making it up,

“……Hmm, okay.”

I skeptically nodded at him for now.

──From there, nothing particularly unusual happened.

We borrowed my study materials and did our homework together.

We ate dinner, watched some TV, played a bit of games.

When the night grew late, we decided to take turns using the bath.

Being the guest, I let Shinobu go first, then it was my turn.

I washed my body and, as usual, soaked in the bathtub.

The very bathtub that Shinobu had just used──.

As I thought about this,

“……Back then”

I unexpectedly uttered those words.

“Back then, we used to bathe together, didn’t we…”

I think it was around the third or fourth grade of elementary school.

Back when we lived in the same town, we often ended up muddy and would always end up bathing together. The pure-hearted Shinobu seemed shy, but it never struck me as unnatural, and I thought that closeness would continue forever.

……Of course, that’s not possible now.

Even if we’re as close as we were back then, we’re high school students now.

Bathing together is absolutely out of the question… and to be honest, just being in the bath after Shinobu, the mere fact of it, embarrassingly makes my heart flutter a little.

Even so──that we, who were once so close, have become like this.

Arguing, creating distance, becoming awkward with each other…

……And.

I wish Shinobu would be a bit more moved by me.

My body in the bathtub has grown quite a bit since then.

Not quite like a gravure idol, but my chest is decent, and I think my skin is pretty. It wouldn’t hurt for him to notice a little, right? As a girl, wouldn’t it be normal for him to be conscious of me…?

“Well……” I sigh to myself, self-deprecatingly.

“……Shinobu is probably more interested in cow’s milk.”

It had always been that way.

Even after we entered elementary school and everyone started to talk a little about love, Shinobu was more fascinated with cows than girls.

I don’t have much confidence in competing with that, in terms of volume or his interests.

“……I should get out soon.”

Thinking too much, I started to feel overheated.

It was getting late, so I quickly dried off, changed clothes, dried my hair.

Then, as I entered my room where Shinobu was waiting,

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

“……Oh, oh!”

For some reason, Shinobu straightened up and averted his gaze.

“……What’s wrong?”

“Ah, ah… nothing in particular!”

“……?”

I wondered, why is he being so curt?

Did I do something to offend him…?

I don’t know.

I don’t understand, but feeling the distance and loneliness,

“……Whatever, it’s fine.”

I said that, got into bed before Shinobu, and lay down under the blanket──.

♠♠♠♠♠♠

──Indeed, I might seem brusque.

That morning, the first time I stayed over at Shizuno’s house.

I woke up and lay in the futon, thinking about it.

Creating a barrier, being rough in my handling… it might even seem like I’m avoiding her.

So, it’s natural for Shizuno to feel lonely or displeased.

She seemed really dissatisfied yesterday… I honestly feel sorry.

And I don’t want to behave like that either.

I really want to interact with Shizuno more naturally, without creating distance.

But,

“……!”

In the futon, looking at Shizuno again──I think.

No, this won’t work.

It’s impossible to act normally in this situation.

I have no choice but to be brusque and put up barriers.

Because… I take a deep breath and re-acknowledge my situation.

──She’s clinging to me.

Shizuno, inside the futon, is hugging me tightly with both arms.

And not just her arms.

Her legs are wrapped around me, clinging with her whole body.

──I can distinctly feel the lines of her body.

The roundness of her arms and legs. And the undeniable softness of her chest…

……How did this happen…!

Maybe she’s always hugging the futon or something…!

But still, being the one hugged like this, it’s like being on the verge of an explosion…!

And the way we are, it’s almost scandalous.

With everything twisted and exposed, it’s practically like being half-naked.

Enduring this situation is harder than any work I’ve done on a farm…

And then… yeah.

I──decide on something.

This can’t go on.

Sleeping together like this is impossible.

I need to talk to Shizuno properly.

To continue sleeping together in a healthy way, we need to have a proper discussion──.

“……Mmm, mmm…”

Just at that moment, Shizuno makes a sound.

She stirs, slowly opens her eyes, and looks up at me.

Then, still half-asleep, she murmurs,

“……Mmm, good morning… Shinobu…”

“……Yeah, good morning…”

“Yawn… I slept well…”

Shizuno yawns softly.

“I’m still a bit… sleepy…”

──As she says this.

Shizuno slowly──becomes aware of “her own position.”

Her eyes widen, her face turns red, and her mouth opens and closes before──,

“──I’m sorry!”

She hurriedly releases her hug.

She sits up abruptly on the futon, stammering out an explanation.

“I-it’s not like, that kind of thing…! It’s just that… it feels comfortable to sleep like this! I didn’t mean to, it just happened…”

“Right…”

“Please think of it as a one-time mistake and forget it…”

“……Well, it’s pretty normal for you to be like this…”

“A lie!? H-have I always been like this…!?”

“Yeah. Actually, you know…”

I sit up and face Shizuno, clearing my throat slightly.

And then,

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“What…?”

“About our sleepovers, I want to set some rules.”

“Rules… why?”

“First of all… Shizuno…”

As I say this, I avert my eyes from Shizuno with a steely resolve,

“Look at… what you’re wearing right now.”

“……My clothes?”

Tilting her head, Shizuno looks down at her body.

And then she──,

“……!”

──hastily adjusts her pajama front.

Most of the buttons were undone, and she covered her body.

It was almost fully exposed.

The only button still fastened was the one at the top of her chest.

The rest were undone, revealing everything from her cleavage to her stomach.

ILUS NO.13

……And furthermore,

She seemed a bit careless because she was at home, and today Shizuno didn’t seem to be wearing a bra.

At my house, she was always properly dressed, but today Shizuno was in the lightest of attires, at the very limit.

As a guy, it was impossible to look directly at her like that.

“……By the way, your pajama buttons have been mostly undone since you came out of the bath.”

“Th-They were…?”

I was surprised when Shizuno returned to the room.

Her chest and stomach were fully visible. It wasn’t just a peek; it was all out there.

Honestly, I thought she might be doing it on purpose. Maybe she wanted to tease me, or see my reaction…

But──Shizuno was just naturally like that.

Completely natural, not different from usual──I realized.

Ah, she’s just naive.

She’s the type with a thin sense of crisis, just carelessly letting her guard down…

“Then you should have told me at the time!”

“I didn’t know how to say it! It felt awkward to mention it…!”

“But it was way more embarrassing to be in that state all morning!”

“It was hard for me too, sleeping next to you like that!”

Moreover, inviting me so casually to her house, suggesting we spend the night together just the two of us, was a pretty bold proposal.

And during the game, she clung to me, suggested we take turns in the bath…

For a high school boy, all that was too stimulating.

“That’s why… I’m going to say it clearly now!”

I took a deep breath and──,

“Shizuno, you’re too defenseless. You let your guard down too much in front of guys!”

I told her sternly.

“Eh! Is that so…?”

“Yep! It’s unavoidable that we have to share a bed. I’m not going to complain about that, there’s a reason for it. But becoming so sloppy in just a week, that’s definitely not okay!”

“Sl-Sloppy…!?”

Shizuno looked shocked, her eyes wide open.

Apparently, she hadn’t thought of herself as that type.

“We have to continue sharing a bed. But, as a boy and girl, we should draw some lines. That’s why I want to set some rules!”

“……Okay, got it.”

Shizuno nodded, overwhelmed by my assertiveness.

Judging by her expression, she seemed to understand my concern.

“So, what kind of rules are we going to set?”

“First… always properly wear pajamas. After changing, check that all buttons are done and pants are pulled up!”

“Uh, okay…”

Like a child being taught how to dress by a mother, Shizuno nodded.

“Also, always wear underwear! It might be uncomfortable, but find something comfortable… I can’t stand seeing that much…”

“Okay, got it…”

She nodded again, hugging herself to cover her chest.

“And when sleeping, don’t get too touchy! Of course, it’s unavoidable if you turn over in sleep, but touching, hugging, things like that…”

“……But!”

Shizuno raised her hand like a student with a question,

“I hug in my sleep without realizing it. So, even if I’m careful, there are limits…”

“Well… some extent is unavoidable. But, try to keep it to a minimum!”

“……Okay, got it!”

Shizuno nodded again, her face showing a sense of guilt.

We continued to set rules one by one.

“──Please stop leaving a change of pants in the washroom before I take a bath…”

“──Also, getting too close during games is a bit too much…”

“──And if there are laundry items hanging in the room, please take them down first…”

After finishing the discussion and writing the rules in a note on her phone, Shizuno said,

“……This is a lot.”

She looked discontentedly at me.

“Why do we have to be so strict? It’s my house, and it feels awkward…”

“……Sorry, but I need your cooperation.”

Indeed, following all those rules would be troublesome.

Aside from not hugging, many rules seemed like intruding into Shizuno’s life. I felt sorry for that.

“But… it’s hard for me too. Seeing too much is…”

“……Huh?”

Shizuno looked puzzled at my words.

“Hard? What do you mean by that?”

She leaned in, looking at me curiously and cautiously, then asked,

“Do you mean… you get excited?”

“……Mmm. Yeah, sort of.”

I admitted it frankly, swallowing my embarrassment.

“When it’s that blatant, it’s hard… So, I’d appreciate your cooperation.”

“……Hmm, I see.”

Shizuno smiled──

Why, that expression seemed somehow mischievous, for the first time in a while.

“Hehe, so Shinobu gets excited, huh.”

“Yeah…”

“Hehe, I see, I see…”

She repeated, nodding several times in a sing-song voice.

……What’s that about?

What’s with that mood…?

I don’t get it.

I don’t understand, but…

“So… this rule list is also a list of things that excite Shinobu!”

“Stop interpreting it like that!!”

Faced with a cheerful Shizuno──I couldn’t help but raise my voice.